Lying To Be Perfect?// Michael Clifford.

24.

"I fucking hate you," those words kept playing in my mind. He really did say that. He looked so mad and let down. I fucking hate myself, too. I never thought... I never knew I'd be exposed like that. I can't do anything to make it right. How could I be so stupid? I should have stopped lying. But there's no point in regretting now. The damage has been done. I cannot change the past. And he just won't let me change the present. He's even more stubborn than my best friends. I don't know if Emma and Taylor even noticed that I have not been able to attend school. They did not call me yet. So I think they don't care as well.

I am leaving London. I can't live here anymore and it's really sickening how many people I've pissed off while I was here. I just couldn't live here. But I have to meet Michael before I leave. I have to apologise for what I've done. But I don't know how. I've called Michael about 250 times and I'm not exaggerating. I really have. And he has read all my texts and did not reply. I feel he probably had his read receipts on so I could see that he read the texts and is ignoring me.

But I try one last time. Because I just had to. I need to.

Me: I know that you don't want to talk to me and ever see my face again but I need to talk to you one last time, Michael. I want to apologise for what I've done. Please talk to me. I'm leaving for LA tomorrow evening and I want to talk to you. For the last time. Please.

Michael: don't text me

Me: Why can't you just give me one last chance?

Michael: i hate liars

Me: You're actually acting like you've never lied about anything.

Michael: i fucking slept with you. i don't sleep around. it meant something to me

Me: I don't sleep around too. Please hear me out. I can explain. I really love you.

Michael: you're a fangirl

What's that supposed to mean? What is he trying to say?

Me: So?

Michael: so we cannot be together. we're too different

Me: Different? Suddenly we're too different? I wasn't different when you did not know that I was a fangirl? You know what? You are right. We cannot be together. Because being a fangirl obviously makes me less of a person, right? What we had was nothing. Because now you know that I am a fangirl. It doesn't matter what we were. Right. Yes. I'll leave you alone. I'm so sorry for bothering you. I'll just...go away. Thank you for your time, goodbye.

And with that, I switched off my phone. It was over. So over