No Longer Hers (Vadmé)

1

My world is darkened, I can't see anything. My entire body shakes and jitters in pain, cuts decorating it, although no one can see them.

The ash around me seeps into my wounds, making them hurt more, and making them worse.

It's all falling apart. My plan, my life, is splitting apart at the seams. It's failed.

How could he do this to me? Why would he do this to me?

He saw me as a brother? How rich!

I have to keep going. I have to get stronger. I have to do to him the same thing that he did to me. I have to make him feel this pain.

It's only fair.

He deserves it.

[---]

I slowly opened my eyes to the dark room, the blaring clock next to my bed rudely awakening me. The wall against the right of my large bed is actually a floor-to-ceiling transparasteel viewport, the bright planet of Corosaunt shines in the scape through the large window, though at this view, it's only a plate sized circle, at most, with an odd pattern on it.

I moved my gaze from it, downwards, longingly gazing at the empty space next to me on the large bed.

It stays empty as I refused to use the other side, as if I'm preserving it for someone who will never be there.

The gap seemed to be laughing at me, mocking me of my mistakes, of my foolishness.

You don't know how good you have it until it's gone.

I turned back then slowly and groggily sat up on my mattress, putting my head in my hands, to sulk, and to try to wipe the tiredness from my face, sighing for an exaggerated amount of time, my lack of sleep was evident to anyone who could see me, which was, thankfully, no one.

Another nightmare tonight. I remembered from my sleep.

Eventually, I finally got up from the soft black comforter, it's made with the finest nabooien silks, and has an excessively high thread count. I suppose being a Sith Lord does have its perks. . . at times.

Focusing myself, I used the Force to press the light switch located in a memorized area across the room and force-grabbed my black robe from the floor. My sleeping pants black and baggy, complementing the robe as I put it on. It's not as though it matters anyway. I'm the only one who sees myself in this attire, I'm the only one I plan to.

Groggily walking into the 'fresher next to me, I rubbed my face and splashed it with water in an attempt to wake myself.

After I splashed myself, I brushed my teeth, shaved, and turned on the water for a shower. I undress, quickly walking into the warm shower, the walls surrounding it made of glass, making me look like in a cage, as if I'm a fish in a store or an animal in an aquarium, put there to ogle at. Or maybe just like what it was, a nice shower.

Putting my head under the water, I started to do all of the normal shower stuff, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, excreta.

When I washed my body I make sure to be careful about the permanent scars and burns that I have from Mustafar, not wanting to irritate or open any. They weren't healed yet from what occurred that day. I also mad sure to be careful of my robotic body parts, trying not to rust them or anything of the sort.

Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it's impossible.

It had been hard to adjust to my replacement for my left foot, but with time I eventually learned, the same way I did with my forearm when it was taken to me in the same way.