D.N.A. - An Inanimate Insanity Darkfic

1 - A Fresh Start

**[WARNING!]**

**[THIS STORY CONTAINS: BUGS, BODY HORROR, INHUMANE EXPERIMENTATION, ANIMAL CRUELTY, TORTURE, STOCKHOLM, SELF HARM, AND GENERAL VIOLENCE]**

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{ Test Tube POV }

I tapped my cold finger idly on my laptop. Pulled up were many articles, varying in topics. Most notably were two: Fire Centipedes and previously failed experiments. 

Bugs had always been a fascination of mine. They persevere through many harsh conditions whilst being so small, it's incredible. Centipedes, specifically, can grow up to miles under the right conditions. FIRE centipedes are aggressive, territorial, and venomous. Amazing how so many traits are packed into that tiny of a creature!

But I'm getting off track. You see, I've been wanting to start my own experiment. Using a DNA sample of a previously dead pet of mine (Rest in peace Charlie), I intend to successfully combine such traits of said centipede with a fellow object companion. 

But who, you may ask? And how?

Well, it's quite simple. I have forged a contract to present to OJ. What better way to begin than to take down the great leader, himself? 

The contract prevents him from suing me. I only intend to keep him for a few weeks, as the steps are necessary for the safety of both parties. If something goes awry, I am nearby to assist and fix. Besides, he's been looking for a break from management work for a while. And, while being a subject for a test might not be everyone's ideal vacation, OJ loathes the idea of any regular one. He can barely even say the darned word.

This should be easy.

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{ Test Tube POV }

I sat in front of the hard, wooden desk. The chair squeaked with a sort of uncertainty as I watched him read over the paper, his finger tapping onto the desk.

"..So?" I chimed.

He looked up at me. "Sure. I'm game."

I blinked in shock. "R-Really!?"

OJ nodded. "Yeah. I've been needing a break from work for a while now. You'll have to give me a couple days though. You know, handling who keeps watch and all that jazz."

"O-Of course! Take all the time you need!" I smile. He returns a smaller one. "I-I do have to clarify something: You do realize that your life may be at stake for this experiment, right?"

"I know." OJ swivels around in his chair, grabbing out a pen. "But I enjoy helping."

"That much, huh?"

He nods, the pen scratching against the paper as OJ hands the signed contract to me. "If I'm not helping, then who am I?"

I frown a tad, but I can't argue. I am plenty aware of OJ's somewhat flawed state of mind. It's sad, but it's true. And he is aware of that. 

"Give me a day or two. I'll meet you over in your lab when I'm ready."

"R-Right!" I stand, gripping the pamphlet in my hands as I walk out, plenty on my mind.

I had been expecting a lot more difficulty, however, it went quite smoothly. Must be some sort of plot-convenience, or even possibly just a tad bit of luck accompanied to logic and smart thinking.

Nevertheless, it was a success. I shouldn't dwell on the 'what if's any longer than I already have. What I should be worrying about is preparing for this procedure.

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{ OJ POV }

OJ watched Paper, Toilet and MePad enter the room. He smiled. "Thank you for coming so quickly!"

"Of course! What was it that you needed?"

He took a deep breathe. "I'm going to be leaving the hotel for an...uncertain amount of time. I need you three to watch over the hotel while I'm gone."

Worries quickly arose, mostly from Paper.

"Where will you be going?"

"Is it that important?"

"Why don't you know how long you'll be gone?"

And then there were the more technical side of questions, which I happily informed MePad and the two of directions.

As for the worries, I could not. That was for Test Tube to mention, not me. It said so on the contract. I had assumed she didn't want people barging into her lab purely due to the extremes the experiment could take. I wasn't worried. I held trust in Test Tube's abilities.

"Promise you'll stay in touch?" Paper requested.

"Of course. I'll do my best." I leave him with a small kiss on the forehead, waving goodbye to the rest as I leave my office, and eventually the hotel.

My feet thudded rhythmically down onto the grass into the forest. Taco's eyes glinted from the shadows. I gave a friendly wave, to which she responded with a quick flee. I didn't understand why she chose to stay out here, but I didn't argue. It was her lifestyle. Who was I to judge her for it?

Regardless, the vending machine had come into view. I inputted the code that Test Tube gave me. Almost immediately, I was sucked into this metal tube, sliding down into her lab, where a soft mattress awaited me at the floor. '

"O-oh! You're here!"

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{ Test Tube POV }

"So, how is this DNA thing going to work?"

I cleaned my glasses idly as I talked. "Essentially, I have compiled the DNA of the bug-"

"Wait," he cut me off. "Bug?"

"Y-Yes, bug. That's...not a problem, right?"

"No, it's not that. Paper just gets a bit timid about bugs, so..."

"W-Well, y-you can always back out at this stage if you want?"

"Oh, no. I trust you enough with this."

"O-Oh! H-Haha!" I laugh awkwardly. If things went wrong, I had no official way to reverse the effects. I was walking in blind, and that scared me.

"A-Anyways, I have compiled the DNA of the bug into a small vial. Once it enters your bloodstream, your white blood cells will likely initially try to attack them. However, that is where the second vial comes in."

"This is CRISPR-Cas9. It works to split apart your DNA, opening up a spot for the Fire Centipede DNA strand to insert itself. The procedure may be a bit painful, so I will be putting you under anesthetics, and to sleep."

"That's fine by me. Do what you need to do."

His patient smile made me a little less uneasy that things would go wrong, but then again. I am just jinxing myself, aren't I?