Jimin Oneshots and Sickfics

Longing to See Them 3

Original Request by @CerezoJM

Part 3 request by Taesstrawberrymilk

-------

The worst thing was the nightmares. Jimin couldn't breathe when they started. Everything was so lifelike and realistic - it was like he was reliving every single one of his experiences all over again.

He knew the others meant well. They would come running to comfort him. It was usually Hoseok, who had the unfortunate fate of being his roommate. But all the attention made Jimin uncomfortable. It reminded him of the lack of attention that he'd gotten for the whatever time span he'd been absent from his own life.

He just felt bad. He wanted to disappear. Everyone was so obviously happy to have him back, but he couldn't share that enjoyment anymore. He was forever changed as a person. And it was awful really, because everyone wanted him to be the same. Nobody said anything, but he could tell. He could see the subtle traces of disappointment when he didn't react the way they wanted him too. They were so patient.

Jimin just wanted to cry.

So he did. He just had to be very quiet.

------

It was the middle of the night. By all accounts, he was fast asleep. But Jimin found himself to be wide awake. Hoseok was sprawled on his bed across the room, effortlessly doing exactly Jimin wanted to do. Sleeping.

The ceiling stretched out in front of him. He could see the outlines of their faces on it. Jimin winced. There. He could feel the faint sting of a whip on his back. Ghosts forever. His injuries had healed a long time ago. Other than some random aches and pains that would always be there, he was as recovered as he would ever be.

But he was so broken. And though the others had forced him to go to therapy, nothing had really resolved. He didn't want to relive anything.

The first tears welled up in his eyes. This was what he was always going to be subjected to - the same thoughts over and over again. He was running in circles at this point.

With more effort than usual, Jimim rolled over until he was curled up on his side. That way, nobody could hear him.

He let the tears flow freely. He wasn't even sad anymore. Just blank. But crying made him feel like his thoughts were validated. Then people could see and tell that he wasn't okay. Crying always elicited pity.

Jimin didn't really know who he was trying to prove anything to. The members never doubted him about anything.

They always gave him as much time as he needed. The issue was him. It always had been.

-------

"Jimin?"

Hoseok's voice coaxed him out of his tear-filled stupor. He scrambled up into a sitting position.

"What is it?"

Hoseok was standing at the edge of his bed, eternal worry in his eyes. Jimin had no idea how much he left to give.

"Hyung, I just don't know anymore," Jimin managed to mumble out. "I'm just so tired."

"Me too."

For a moment, Jimin wondered if Hoseok meant they were all tired of him. But that definitely wasn't the case because Hoseok came to sit next to him right after.

"Is it still a shock to be here again?" he asked carefully.

Jimin shrugged. Truthfully, he'd tried his best to forget the entire kidnapping scenario. The torture and violence, yeah, all he had left was the scars. All the memories had been blocked.