I think I'm lost without you [Paul Lahote]

Chapter One: Watching you go

PROLOGUE

It was a day just like any other when things completely changed for Noah Cly. Mind you, she had noticed things unraveling before the crucial turning point, but nothing that could have really prepared her for the shift.

Sam Uley was the first. In a town as small as La Push, it was all anyone could talk about. He disappeared for three days and when he returned, Sam had cut off all his hair, grown enough muscles for a professional athlete, and broke off his engagement to Leah Clearwater. Steroids is what everyone agreed on. But then, to make matters much much worse, he ran off with Leah's cousin, Emily Young. Who subsequently got mauled by a bear.

This seemed like it would be the gossip of the century. The person that everyone whispered about in passing. Morbidly fascinating but isolated to an individual. That is, until Jared Cameron was pulled from school for mono and returned a week later looking much the same. Apparently, Sam was persuading kids to join his cult by offering them steroids. At least, that's what everyone believed, especially when the pair could be seen together all over town. This theory was only further solidified as truth when the same thing happened to Paul Lahote.

Now, Noah and Paul had a history. That history being that Noah was hopelessly in love with Paul, and she was positive that he barely knew that she existed. But, before he drank the kool aid, there were these small moments that Noah held close to her heart. He was a notorious flirt and womanizer, but Noah couldn't help but think he was sweet. They sat next to each other in algebra, and one day, Noah dropped her calculator right on his toes. She remembered flushing the deepest shade of red and apologizing profusely, but Paul just smiled with a chuckle and told her not to worry about it. Then there was that time when he asked Noah if she was okay when she had the bad cold. Noah had a dozen or so moments like this that made her heart skip a beat every time she thought about it.

She was of course teased relentlessly about this by her cousin and two best friends. Jacob Black, Quil Ateara, and Embry Call. Los Cuatros Amigos, they called themselves. Well, Quil called them that and they all immediately told him to shut up. Noah's mom, Jane, was the little sister of Billy Black and the best friend to his wife Sarah. This meant that Noah spent all of her childhood with Jacob and his sisters. They were best friends from the start, twin flames their moms called them. The twins from the shining, Jacob's sisters called them. However, as fate would have it, this also meant that Jane was in the car with Sarah when the fatal crash took place. They had been driving Noah to her dance lessons when, in an instance, both Jacob and Noah were motherless. Everyone said it was a cruel twist of fate, but Noah knew in her heart it was her fault that they were in the car that day. She never voiced these thoughts out loud but their shared grief only brought them closer together, especially when Rebecca and Rachel moved away to deal with the pain. Noah and Jacob have been inseparable ever since, with Embry and Quil eventually joining their ragtag group of misfits. And the one thing that they loved to do above all else was make fun of anyone who wasn't part of their crew. This made even the most boring school days interesting.

When Paul returned, their ridicule of the small gang only increased. Embry took to calling them hall monitors on steroids. Now, Noah was known to be a bit of a bleeding heart - who else could think playboy Paul was sweet? So it was no surprise that they also teased Noah relentlessly about the way Paul's new buff physique practically made her swoon. The boys were well aware of Noah's not-so-little crush on Paul. Jacob, of course, was not a fan. In the midst of all the teasing, he constantly reminded her of Paul's unsavory reputation.

"You are way too good for him, Noey," He tried to ingrain this in her brain just about every day. Noah would nod along, but they all knew it was pointless with the amount of looks she would sneak at him throughout the day. But, Jake may have had a point, because Paul became incredibly aloof once he joined Sam's cult. Noah liked to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was going through a hard time, but even she had to admit it was different. There were no more little moments. In fact, for the weeks leading up to that fateful day, Paul was rarely in school, and when he was, Noah was too nervous to even look at him.