Pride and Prejudice (Hazbin Hotel ver.)

Chapter 2: Mr. Morningstar visits Mr. Bingley

Mr. Morningstar was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr. Bingley. He had always intended to visit him, though he tried to convince his wife until the night before that he shouldn't go. But when he eventually ended up visiting Mr. Bingley, she had no knowledge of it. It was then disclosed in the following manner. Observing his first daughter fiddling with the hem of her dress, he suddenly addressed her:

"I hope Mr. Bingley will like it on you, Charlie."

"But we don't know what Mr. Bingley likes," answered Mrs. Morningstar instead, "since we are not visiting."

"But you forget dear stepmother," said Charlotte, "that we shall meet him at the assembly, and that Mrs. Long promised to introduce him to us."

"I don't believe Mrs. Long will do such a thing. She has two daughters of her own. She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and I have no opinion of her."

"I agree," said Mr. Morningstar; "and I am glad to find that you're not determined on her serving you."

Mrs. Morningstar decided not to reply, but, unable to contain herself, began scolding her stepdaughters.

"Don't keep coughing so, Razzle and Dazzle, for Heaven's sake! Have a little compassion for my nerves. You tear them to pieces."

"Razzle and Dazzle you don't seem to be ill," their father remarked; "are you two coughing for your own amusement?"

"We don't," replied Razzle fretfully.

"When is the ball going to be, Charlie?" asked Dazzle, trying to change the topic.

"It's tomorrow fortnight, Dazzle."

"Aye, so it is," cried Mrs. Morningstar, "and Mrs. Long will not be back until then so it will be impossible for her to introduce him, for she will not know him herself."

"Then, my dear, you have the advantage and introduce Mr. Bingley to her."

"Impossible, Mr. Morningstar, impossible, how can I do that when I am not acquainted with him myself? How can you be so teasing?"

"I honor your cautiousness. A fortnight's acquaintance is certainly brief. One cannot know what a man really is by the end of a fortnight. But if we don't take a risk then somebody else will and after all, Mrs. Long and her daughters must take theirs. If you aren't up to it, I will take it on myself."

The girls stared at their father. Mrs. Morningstar only muttered under her breath "Nonsense, nonsense.. " Which annoyed Mr. Morningstar greatly.

"What can be the meaning of that sudden utterance?" He asked his wife, "Do you consider the forms of introduction, and the stress that is laid on them, as nonsense? I cannot quite agree with you there. What do you say, Vaggie? As you are a young lady of deep reflection."

Vaggie wished to say something sensible, but was startled by the sudden acknowledgment.

"While Vaggie is adjusting her ideas," he continued, "let us return to Mr. Bingley."

"I am sick of Mr. Bingley," cried his wife.

"I am sorry to hear that but why didn't you tell me that before? If I had known it this morning I certainly wouldn't have visited him. It is very unlucky, but because I actually have paid the visit, we cannot escape the acquaintance now."

The astonishment of the ladies was just what he wished, that of Mrs. Morningstar perhaps surpassing the rest, but when the joy and excitement had passed, she began to declare that it was what she had expected all along.

"How good you are, my dear Mr. Morningstar! I was sure you loved your girls too well to neglect such an acquaintance. Well, how pleased I am! And it's such a good joke, too, that you should've gone this morning and didn't say a word about it till now."

"Now, Razzle and Dazzle, you may cough as much as you two choose," said Mr. Morningstar as he left the room, fatigued from his wife.

"What an excellent father you have, girls!" said Mrs. Morningstar, ignoring Lucifer's comment "I don't know how you will ever make him amends for his kindness, and me too, for that matter. Our life isn't so pleasant right now, but for your sake, we would do anything."

The rest of the evening was spent guessing how soon would Mr. Bingley return their fathers visit, and determining when they should ask him to dinner.