- F A L L E N -

6

While Finnick and Portia were on their little breakfast date or whatever, I took the time to uncurl from the closet and retreat back to my room.

I only got a few minutes into my reading when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find Mags, who patted me on the back and hugged me sweetly before snatching my book and handing me the training center uniform.

"Mags, I'm sorry I can't," I said apologetically.
I didn't want to spend my last few days cloistered to a dark, depressing room, training for a game I planned to lose. Of course, I couldn't say this to Mags, who knew nothing about my current circumstances.

She pushed the training center outfit into my chest and held her arms out in confusion, her hands slightly shaking from old age.

"Because, uh, I... listen Mags I love you, but I won't go....because I can't go, because I... because I have, because I don't really...want to".

Mags sighed sadly, and gave me an understanding smile. But with one disagreeing shake of her head, I knew I was going to have to put on that uniform. 

—

I prolonged my trip to the training center, taking a hot bath and slowly eating my large breakfast before I got ready. Still, when I walked out to head downstairs the light from the new sun blinded me.  It was only 8am.

As I walked to the big glass elevator, I felt the urge to find Finnick, to walk in to the training center together, United. However, Mags was trailing behind my path, making sure I didn't bail, so I had to walk in alone.

Wherever he was, I hoped Finnick wasn't still with Portia.
Maybe they'd moved onto lunch, or a stroll in the park. Hey, maybe after the games, when my ashes are sepulchered under the sea and Finnick is alive and well (hopefully), he and Portia will get together. Get married, heck, have kids! Maybe they'll  grow up listening to stories of how how daddy met mommy, a soulful romance started by flirtatious hand gestures, with no mentions of the girl in the closet.

Standing in a the elevators big cage of glass, Mags motioned for me to press the button to the bottom floor and I sighed.

—

I walked in with the confidence I could muster up after being forced to change, then escorted to the training center, by a woman who didn't even speak.

I thanked Mags and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before venturing off to the rope station. It was boring enough, and nobody would bother me over there. Maybe a tribute or two would even take pity on me and my loneliness. Maybe they'd make a mental note to kill me with a stab of the knife over a beating with a rock.

Soon enough, I felt a presence behind me, and jolted my body around. "Oh Katniss, hi! You don't know me, I'm Y/n, do you want to practice the knot station with me? I just got started and there's another spot, so maybe we can learn the ropes together?" I giggled at my own joke, before a wave of embarrassment came over me.

"Uh...sure". She responded, giving me a hesitant smile as she walked onto the other placemat.

Katniss and I worked on the same few ropes in silence, each of us intermittently looking at the other, copying the others hand movements.

"I had a sister too once" I found myself saying during one especially long line of silence. We were on the third rope, an especially confusing one, and both accidentally kept making eye contact, trying to study the twist of the others tie.

Katniss's eyebrows raised in curiosity, "What was her name?" She asked me, keeping her eyes diligently focused on the rope.

"Maureen," I said. I took a quick glance at Katniss, her braid falling over her shoulder like water."She loved the ocean".

Katniss smiled sadly, "Ya, it is nice, Prim likes the ocean too".

I smiled back at Katniss before we went back to silence, both of us concentrated only on the screen in-front of us.