Run (Sequel to Broken Walls)// L.T. *AU* *On Hold*

•Chapter 15: Jaded•

I apologize for the update confusion, but here it is! Wattpad is kind of glitching and it deleted the chapter I had wrote so I had to write it over. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

I'm sorry if there are mistakes, I wrote this at 4 a.m.

Anyway enjoy!
-Jess xxx

Status: Edited

Cami P.O.V.

The next day passes by slowly, my mind dwindling away with every minute. My eyes are focused on the long black stick inside the glass that moves clockwise, ticking every 60 seconds. Every class feels like forever, and I desperately want to leave. Gianne and Edward try to talk to me in the duration and I make small talk, not exactly in the mood to speak. Even Luke tries to get me to tell him what's wrong, but the thing is,

I don't know.

And it's scaring me. There is this suffocating feeling mixed with guilt that's been stirring in the back of my throat all day and it's an unsettling feeling that you definitely want to leave. Talking makes it worse, and the outcome feels tiring. I'm sick of being tired, and having to thing, to survive to be who I am.

I want to live. I don't want to have worries and have to talk to people to be okay and I don't want to have to go to school and test my intelligence as if I am some robot. Being in this place doesn't test your intelligence. It only tests your memory.

The thoughts that whirl in my mind about this place come from somewhere foreign. I've realized that once you're in a safe place and you've removed any kind of negative being from your life, you are left with so much time to think. And thinking only leads to bad and scary thoughts.

It leads to a deeper place inside of you, a heavy black hole deep inside of your conscience. Ever since I've arrived here, that's all that it's been, thinking and work. And it's only been 5 days.

I already feel like I'm going nuts.

By the time that lunch had rolled around, I felt like vomiting everything I had previously eaten. We had all day at the same table, different conversation, but I felt so isolated. It's ironic when there is a group of people around you, yet you still feel alone.

But it wasn't the feeling in my chest and throat that made me want to throw up the barely edible lunch. It was her. She's the reason I'm like this, she's the reason everything has gone so badly.

She had run her fingers through Louis's hair like it was her job, and he was enjoying every bit of it, glancing at me to get some kind of reaction or kick out of it. But I stayed solemn, and stabbed the iceberg lettuce with my fork, wishing I could stab her and that cackling laugh of hers. If she wasn't Edwards sister, I would reach across the table and slap her until her face is as red as a tomato.

It was very obvious throughout the day just how agitated I was. Ms.Heaverson had given the class an assignment today that would take me basically all night to do, and it made me even more pissed off. She had also given me another one of her attitudes, and I shot her the fakest smile I could muster.

By the end of the day, I felt like crawling into a hole and never coming out, but unfortunately that can never happen.

I head back in to my dorm after a short goodbye to Gianne after we had gone to get coffee, to get dressed for soccer practice, and grab my bag. The smell of chocolate hits my nose as soon as I walk inside and a loud humming echoes off the walls.

"Une voix me rapelle toujours.
Ecoute a ma porte les chansons du vent,
M'rapelle les souvenirs de toi
Quand le soleil dit bonjour aux montagnes
Je suis seule, je ne veux penser qu'a toi
Now when the sun says good-day to the mountains
And the night says hello to the dawn
I'm alone with my dreams on the hilltop
And I can still hear his voice though he's gone"