Nothing Ever Lasts (Rewrite Demo)

Notes

Changes I think are pretty cool:

I think making "EM-37" have some kind of weird number name adds to the harshness of just how fucked up this place is. I mean, imagine growing up in a facility your entire life, and your name is basically numbers.

It also adds to the fact that these people are supposed to be killing machines, which means that they should be treated as such. There's no use for a real name when all you are is cannon fodder, really.

Also, I changed Wraiths name as "The Director" temporarily to make it sound more business like and ominous. It sounds realistic in a way that makes it seem like she's known as the big boss, (which she is).

Again, no exact description of her, just her personality and demeanor. Anyone who has read the original version knows why.

I also switched out the character for "Vasquez" with  Eisenhower. Since . . . You know, he basically dies in the third chapter, and it wouldn't make sense on a technical perspective for EM-37's personality.

Another thing, EMs personality, I get it. Good old teenage boy angst who thinks he's edgy and always angry at the world. This time it's a little bit different. Still as harsh and critical as before, just a bit more internally this time. His focus is more about getting through the Helix Foundation since it's all he's ever known. Our vindictive little angst boy has gotten more older and a bit tamer this time around, which makes room for him actually being competent and useful in a military setting. Doesn't mean he's not a ticking time bomb though.

It also wouldn't be realistic if EM spouted all of that kind of stuff from the previous version. Oh boy, you're gonna be in the ditch for a long time if you actually said shit like that in real life. (Realistic in a superhero setting, technically speaking.)

Now, generally most of the story beats here have played out pretty much nice and simple. But the largest change has to be EMs encounter with Jade for the first time.

Since this new take has the characters older, that completely means that Jade's demeanor has changed entirely. She's no longer dependent on her mother, and now has a new motive that drives both the plot and EM's relationship forward more realistically and emotionally. Plus, I changed her jacket to brown and added a red bandanna, because I recently found out that that having a red jacket, is in fact, a stereotype towards Mexican's and I was absolutely mortified.

So, I have decided to change it up a little and still added that little red flair to her. I really hope it's not a stereotype because I just think red really suits her. But please do inform me if anything I presented here is a stereotype and I will try my hardest to fix it.

Also, new character! Ezekiel!

He's basically the replacement character for Jade's mom, and also serves as a counterbalance between all of them. I know that Jade had a still born sister last time, but I think that this will make it more emotionally impacting for readers. If you know what this means, then you know.

So yes, Jade has changed, but now in a way that makes it seem somewhat interesting to me. I mean, you gotta have a realistic motive to be that bold, am I right? Plus, I just think that by fleshing everything out brings something new to the table, even if it is the same formula.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this rewrite. If you want more, please let me know and I'll completely rewrite this novel if I can!