The Mistake

Chapter 8- The Goodbye

Today was the day. Her funeral. Her goodbye. It had been 19 days since the night. The night that changed their life's forever.

Movements resembling a snail, Zach crawled out of bed dreading today. He didn't want to go. He didn't think he could face her mum. Not without the guilt. The crushing guilt that weighed down on him. The crushing guilt that because of him, she is no longer here. The crushing guilt that because of him, Sarah no-longer has a daughter. Because of him, she is spending her 16th birthday in a coffin and not how they had fucking planned to spend it. He had finished her painting which was currently hidden under his bed ready to take to put in her coffin. To be burnt with her.

"Josh, buddy, you need to wake up. I know you don't want to but it's her day today." Rolling over, Josh groaned and begrudgingly climbed out of bed and knocked on the door telling him he was awake. He didn't want to go. He just wanted to get high. To forget everything. To forget that she was gone. That after today there was no way she was coming back. And he said yes. He said he would do it. He didn't get her fucking help. He fucking killed her. Or at least the first step to killing her. All because he didn't listen and get her help. And now he wanted to get drunk and high, probably fuck some random girl just to forget about her. About them. But he couldn't. Because it was her day. Her funeral. Her birthday. Fuck he missed her.

"Josh buddy, we have to go in half an hour, you need to get dressed and come down for breakfast. I'll meet you downstairs in 10 minutes." Great. He didn't want to do this. He wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"Zach, we need to go sweetie, we need to drop the painting off and then meet up for brunch in 20 minutes, come on." Pulling himself together, Zach walked out his room, the painting under his arms. He was wearing a black suit no matter how much he despised it. She would have wanted colour but her parents- well mostly her mum- wanted everyone in black. He didn't know why they chose to wear black. It's supposed to be a celebration of her life. It's her birthday for fucks sake. She wanted colour. She told him that. She told him she didn't want black. She told him she hated the colour black. And so in honour of her, Zach decided to wear a yellow tie and matching yellow socks. He brought a black tie and socks just in case but he doesn't plan on changing them. He definitely wasn't planning on wearing them.

"Zach, the tie..."

"I'm not changing, sh- she wanted colour, I'm wearing colour. Please." His voice cracking at the end.

"Okay, let's go, it's gunna be okay." His mother said patting his shoulder knowing he wouldn't want a hug.

"Ah Liv, Zach-" Zach. At the sound of his name, Josh's head snapped and met with Zach's. The two boys' eyes locked as they shared unspoken words unaware of what was around them.

"Zach, go sit next to Josh, catch up with each other, I heard it's been a while since you saw each other." Sarah spoke as Zach made his way towards the empty seat beside Josh. It was silent. Neither of them made any effort to talk to each other; their last conversation running through their minds.

"So, Josh, how have you been?" Zach's mum spoke, an attempt to break the tension between the two young boys.

"I've been alright, thanks Liv, you?" Lie. He had been shit.

As if God had answered their prayers, the waiter came over, not giving Liv a chance to speak.

"Good morning, are you ready for food?"

Blocking her out, Zach and Josh shared an unspoken conversation between them. Neither of them knew what to say. There wasn't anything to say. Both were drowning in guilt, unable to speak. She was gone because of them and although they didn't know each other was involved, they both hated themselves for what they did.