Little by Little | Noel Gallagher

Chapter 17

November 2022

The Rising Sun's tour had finished, and they'd returned to London to play two more sold out gigs. Their largest yet, at Wembley Stadium. Throughout the tour, demand for their third album had been so monumental, they were thinking they'd be able to come and tour the UK all over again next year. They also had Australia and New Zealand and the USA lined up for the first part of next year as well.

Amy couldn't have been happier – her nerves about returning, about their slightly new sound, were all wiped away. They reached Number 1, the press were starting to whisper about them taking home Record of The Year at the Grammys and her family and Noel had been able to join them backstage at Wembley. Everyone she loved in the same room. Life right now, was perfect.

She sat in front of the warm fire at Noel's house. No matter how long she spent in the UK, she never got used to the wet, rainy winters. Besides, she loved fires. You could never burn a fire in Australia – too hot – so she insisted Noel put one on for her every time she came over. He moaned and grumbled about it, but he obliged every time.

"You're obsessed you are," Noel said, gesturing towards the fire. He come up behind her without her even realising, she had been so focused on the twirling and licking of the flames. He'd just returned from tucking Anais into bed. Amy adored the little girl, and she was equally adored in return, but she was careful not overstep. They'd been spending more time together as a trio, but she made sure Anais still had enough time with her dad, and out of respect for Meg, she never did any parenting or anything that crossed a line. Perhaps that time would come in the future, but she was more focussed on just being a good, trusted friend for now.

"Yes, I love it," she agreed. "It's beautiful."

"You're a fuckin' pyromaniac," Noel said, shaking his head. "Listen, come in to the studio for a second. Got summat I want to show ya."

Amy pulled herself off the flow and followed Noel into his studio. She always got a thrill when she came in here. She knew Noel rarely showed his home studio to anyone, and she loved that she was the one of the few. It confirmed to her the she was one of the select group of people who saw the full, real Noel, the Noel that was really there behind his tough, prickly exterior.

"New song?" she said, perching herself on the edge of the couch while she watched him grab a guitar.

"Not really, I've been working on this for a while. Few months, maybe?" Noel tuned the guitar in his lap, hoping Amy wouldn't notice the slight shake in his hands. The first stages of this song had come to him not long after meeting her. He'd written the bulk of it during their period of no content, and spent the last few weeks perfecting it. He knew now why he'd not been able to come up with a response to Amy's love. He had to do this way. It was the only he'd ever been able to say what felt.

"Right well I will just play it then, will I?" he said. Amy's brows furrowed. Noel seemed oddly nervous. Like, really nervous. She knew he only showed songs to people when he was sure they were perfect, so she'd never seen him like this before. All his usual self-assuredness and the ever-so-slight arrogance were missing.

He began to strum and sing a soft, slow ballad. The lyrics sang of love and longing, of missed opportunities, but still having hope. It was both beautiful and sad. It was clear by the way Noel cast his eyes down throughout that were intensely personal. These lyrics weren't metaphors or allegories the rest of world would spend time analysing for meaning. The meaning in these lyrics were clear, perhaps in a way his music had never been before. It made her feel emotional.

"Anyway that's it," Noel said. He was trying to sound casual but he was still anxious. His mouth was dry and his heart was in his throat. He put his guitar back and looked at Amy, waiting for a response. She had a slight sheen to her eyes. Could she tell?

"Noel that was..." she shook her head, as if dazed. "That was seriously beautiful. I mean it. It was really, really special."

He nodded, looking down. He couldn't really handle the way she was looking at him. "It's about you. Well, you and me."

"I had a feeling it was." She smiled at him. "I feel really...really touched, Noel. When did you write it?"

"A few months ago, when I thought I lost you. When I r-realised...realised I loved you."

He stuttered and stumbled, but as soon as he said it, Noel felt relief and joy wash over him. And...love. This woman, this funny, sexy, witty woman, had found her way into his life and he loved her. She'd touched him with her warm, open heart and her vibrant and generous personality and showed him a love that he didn't think was ever in store for him.

"I love you Amy," he said, more confidently. "I think I might have since the day I saw ya coming through my feed in the dressing room at the studio. I'm sorry I took me so long to tell ya, I just didn't think someone like you would love me back...but then you said it and I didn't know how to say it as...as good as you did. So I thought I'd finish the song first...oh god, don't cry," he finished desperately.

Amy laughed, blinking away her tears. "I'm not," she said. "Well, I am, but it's fine." She knew Noel carried things from his childhood and past that perhaps he wasn't even fully aware of. Yes he was charming and cocky, witty, opinionated and sarcastic and fun to be around. The life of the party sometimes. But underneath that she knew there was someone intensely private, someone slow to trust and a lone wolf. He'd allowed her in behind those walls and it made her love him even more. "It's nice to hear you say it, that's all. Happy tears. You know I love you too."

Noel had a flush spread across his face. Half at her words, half at his own. "Dunno why. I'm grumpy old cunt really," he said, only half joking. Amy moved across the room and sat herself on his lap.

"Yeah, you can be," she said. "But you're also kind and funny, and generous and loving. You keep me calm and grounded in this crazy industry. I know no matter what happens, whether it's good or bad, you'll be there. You're like a lighthouse. I can always see you there. Bringing me home."

Noel's flush deepened. He was still getting used to such overt displays of love and affirmation, but he felt pleasure fill his chest at Amy's words regardless. She was so much smarter and wiser than him, of course she was going to be better saying things like than he was. He buried his head into her neck, inhaling her sweet, soft Amy smell. She was everything.

"We'll if I am a lighthouse, you're...the sun. You make everything bright and colourful and when you're gone the world is cold and grey without you. And all you can do is wait for the sun to be back."

Amy's heart swelled. She thought back to the very first night she'd come to Noel's. Apprehensive, pinching herself, carrying a box of chocolates. Who would have thought that she'd end up here, that they'd find each other in this world? She looked into his blue eyes, ones she would never tire of looking at, ones that would always make her feel like he could see into her soul. She pushed his hair back off his face.

"That song – it's kind of a little bit sad," Amy said, pondering. "I thought you didn't like sad songs? Most people want to put on music for an escape you know, not feel sad." Noel rolled his eyes. He knew she was taking the piss out of his interview – the one that caused him to approach her all those weeks ago. Whatever unknown force had made him do that, he was grateful.

"You're never going to forget about that interview are ya?"

"Nope, never." Noel laughed. He was happy. They were happy. Together.

"Fine," he said. "Fine. But will ya give us a kiss then?" He cheekily squeezed her waist and waggled his eyebrows.

Amy didn't need to be told twice.