Dieter's Prize

Thirty-Two

Crispin's POV

I need to tell him.

But how is the question? I can't just drop a bomb like that on him. Plus what if he gets upset that  I kept this from him for so long? We are at a good place. We are communicating better, we are spending time getting to know each other. There's no better time than now...right?

Dieter and I spent a lot of our time in the sparring courts. Me watching, him judging. But now I was pretty immune to the goriness that this pack holds. Which I was pretty proud of myself. 

And this past week we've truly grown, as well as I. I have a newfound appreciation and understanding toward Dieter and it shows up every time I see him. Not only that but Dieter is a a big teddy bear. He has become more open about his feelings for me and how he wants our future to look like. 

Not only has he changed but I have as well. He has been teaching me how to fight, though I try not to do it too much seeing as I have a child growing inside me. But I've learned a few skills. Things were good between us. As long as we didn't talk about the elephant in the room. But these days it's getting harder and harder.

Rena had told Dieter that she would watch Carter for a few more weeks and then that's it. And the time of Carter's arrival is slowly creeping up. Seeing my son again shouldn't cause this much anxiety but it does. I don't know how I'd react, or how he'd react to seeing me. I don't know what emotions I'd feel when I see him and Dieter talking and I'm left third wheeling. 

These are all things I don't want to feel or experience. Not yet. 

That makes me incredibly selfish and I recognize that. And I have had to come to terms with such things and be okay with it. But that doesn't make it any easier.

"What's got your attention?" Dieter asked pulling me from my thoughts. He looked down at me with concern and waited for me to speak.

"There's something I need to--"

"Crispin Jafir!" 

I stilled in place. Her voice wracked through every nerve ending in my body. Dieter went stiff as well, we both looked at each other knowing that the bubble we had been in would be coming to an end. 

I turned slowly and I watched as a very angry Rena and an apologetic Danielle came storming toward us. With Carter in their hands. Anxiety riddled my bones and my heart began to speed up. We had two more weeks...why are they here?

Carter's face was buried into Danielle's neck like he was hiding away from us. Hiding away from me. It didn't take long for them to be right in front of us. Rena crossed her arms as she stared me down with hate in her eyes. Something she's never looked at me like before.

"What are you doing here?" Dieter asked them. I was still too stunned to speak.

"What kind of dumb fucking question is that?" She looked between us but I'm sure Dieter and I's face held confusion. She groaned in annoyance and looked to Danielle who let out a deep sigh.

"You--you--" Danielle stuttered and she looked reluctant to say anything but Rena's anger was greater than it. "You forgot his birthday."

I felt all the air leave my body, a searing, excruciating pain filled my pores and I was left burning. Whatever remainder of bond I had left with my son was now gone. 

"That's why I've been calling you nonstop. But then I don't hear from you for two days! And I'm left picking up the pieces!" Rena yelled as Danielle slowly rubbed Carter's back. Who still hadn't taken the time to look at us. "What the fuck is going--"