jjs little sister

part 10- fathers hit

jjs pov

rylie was jumpy the whole night. it was like every 5 minutes she flinched or jerked herself awake. it didn't bother me- i wasn't going to sleep tonight, but i was worried about her. the last time i saw her this shaken up about something was when mom left. i mean seriously when dad pointed a gun at her one time and told her to clean the entire house she didn't even react. she just pulled one right back on him and told him to fuck off.

this girl has no fear, feels no pain, eats violence for breakfast. seeing her, holding her in my arms like this broke my heart. i swear i'm never letting her out of my sights again.

3rd person pov
———

jj wanted to take all the pain away from his sister. he could handle it, what ever she was feeling he wanted to ease her from it. this stone cold person he raised was crumbling and he didn't know how to fix it.

"shh, it's ok" jj soothed as rylie spazzed awake again. she simply nodded before trying to fall back asleep. "you're safe, i got you" he reassure kissing the top of her head. he stoked her hair in an attempt to get her to fall asleep faster.

jjs mind was racing a million miles a minute. how could i be so stupid he thought. like am i fucking blind? this whole time this shit was happening right in front of my face and i didn't even notice were the main points he kept repeating to himself.

"i can hear you thinking" rylie mumbled into her brothers chest "i'm sorry, try to go back to sleep" he told her. "only if you do" she replied "not tonight ryles" he simply told her "then i'll stay up with you, i'm too anxious to get any actual sleep" she told him. she had a point. "i promise you're safe, i'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you, please rylie just try to get some sleep? i'm not going anywhere, no one's gonna get you- not even dad" jj pleaded.

rylie could hear the pain in her brothers voice. she knew it was there because of her. if she hadn't been so careless he would've never seen her bruises. luke never would've opened the can of worms. she would've been slicker with the bag of pills in her pocket. "can you tell me a story" "about what" jj obliged "the one you used to tell me when mom left" rylie requested. it was a stupid story he made up the night their mom left. it was something about a dog and a happy, loving family. it was all fluff, no dooming voices or threats of pain. no absent mothers or shitty fathers, just pure happiness. almost every night for a year jj told her that story.

and so, jj told her this silly little story he made up when he was a kid. deep down she still felt like that 5 year old girl who's mom freshly walked out in her, leaving her with the worlds shittiest father.
jj always helped ease the pain. there was a time where he took all of her beating for her. it was the same year her told her this story every night. he would come in to her room and lay down next to her, tucking her in with a stuffed monkey.

more often than not, his face would be scrunched up and his lip might be quivering. maybe a fresh bruise on his cheek bone or a belt mark across his back. he tried his best to hide the truth from her. he was strong for her and always will be, it's who he is.

it wasn't until one night rylie was taking a nap in his room when her dad came in and mistook her for jj. he started rambling about a mess he made or a fight he had gotten into at school, and before she knew it, luke had slapped her across the face and pinned her body against the hall, slamming it back and forth repeatedly.

he didn't even realize it was his daughter when he left, he simply shoved her to the ground, stepped on her fingers and left. it was the first real shake down she received from him. it's when she first realized that fathers hit.

when jj came back that afternoon, he heard crying from his closet. big john had just dropped him back off at his house from a play date with john b. he rushed to find rylie sitting in his closet with the door shut, wearing one of his sweatshirts, crying into her stuffed monkey. he asked her what happened and she cried into his arms and told him what happened.

that's when jj got into the closet with her and abruptly told her to stop crying. he explained what dad was like when she wasn't around, and what drugs were and what they did to him. that's where he taught her to be tough. no more crying to her monkey, no more hiding in the closet, no more asking for mom to come back. he told her how to avoid dads punishments, although as she got older she only provoked him. he taught her how to throw a punch, and what to do with a knife if it ever came down to it. he told her that tears made her look weak, and that she needed to be strong.

he also reminded her that he would be there for her if she needed him, but that only little girls needed protecting, and it was time for her to stop being a little girl. most importantly, never ever ask for help, and never show any emotion or let anyone in. this was between them and dad or whoever she needed to get away from. when she got to middle/high school he regretted putting her in that mindset. that's when he taught her how to shoot gun. they would practice a couple times a week in the woods, using her stuffed monkey as target practice. jj also made her practice throwing punches up until she was 12. when she was 12 she started fighting luke back, so jj took a step away from "toughening her up" as she proved herself capable.

"i have something for you" he told her, slowly slipping out from under her. he walked over to the closet and brought down a box from his top shelf. he rummaged through it for a minute before picking up what he was looking for and hiding it behind his back. he got back into his bed and brought his arm out, revealing his secret.
it was her monkey. one of the eyes was missing, and it had lost some stuffing but it looked as if it had been sewn together, even using a button for a replacement eye.

rylies face lit up when she saw the familiar object. "you big softie, did you sew him back together?" she grinned looking up at her brother. he simple shrugged, earning a hug from rylie "thank you jj" she whispered, turning in to hug him jj simply smiled. "i'm sorry i did this to you ryles" he sighed. "did what?" she asked "damaged you or whatever" he scoffed "you didn't do anything jj" rylie sighed in response.

"i promise, if anyone 'damaged me' it was dad" she reassured. "i shouldn't have made you this cold or tough or whatever. i mean it's ok for things to hurt and to ask for help." he told her "i made you grow up too fast and i'm so sorry- you're your own person i just wanted you to be like me because of you were like me then i knew you could handle him and it wasn't fair and i'm sorry" jj rambled

"jj?" rylie spoke up "yea" he huffed "i love you too" rylie smiled, poking at her brothers face trying to get him to smile. "yea yea whatever" he eventually caved and kissed the top of her head again. "now shut up and get some sleep, i mean it this time" he told her, pinching her arm.

"goodnight jage" "goodnight ryles"