I love you

Chapter 4: I'm Bisexual.

Sirius.
The next evening Lily brings James and Peter. "Hai." I say looking at my feet. "Hai, Lily said you wanted to tell us something important, she said that you were scared we would freak out." James says careful. "Er, yeah, but I changed my mind." I say fast. "Sirius! We decided, I know you can tell them. Or do you want me to do it?" Lily says. I hide under the blankets and turn away from them. "Mmpf, okay." I say quietly. And then Lily takes a breath. "Sirius thinks he is in love with Remus. But he is terrified to ruin everything." Lily says. "Oh, is that all?" James asks. "Er, yeah. But you're not mad at me?" I ask in a pillow. "No, why would I? You're my brother, you know that. I didn't expect it, but I know you'll take good care of Remus, and if you don't I'll kill you. So nothing to be afraid of." He says. "Congrats mate. When are you going to tell Remus?" Peter asks. "I thought about never?" I say. "No Pads, you're going to tell, or I will do it, I'll give you some time, but Remus has to know a good reason why you were hiding from him for more then 2 weeks. You at least have to go back to the dorm with us tonight." James says. "I'll talk to Remus so he won't ask about it. I'll say that you will tell him soon." James picked up my stuff together with Lily and Peter. When we walked back to the dorm they put my stuff away and James talked to Remus for a little while. When they were done with talking I walked in with my head bowed. "Hai." I said. While walking to my bed. But I was stopped. "Can I hug you Sirius?" Remus asks. I look at James terrified. He smiles and gives me a nod. "Okay." I say in a whisper. I feel Remus' strong arms around me and he pulls me close, his body is warm and tall. I feel so little in his arms. His put his chin on my head and says: "I've missed you Sirius." Only I can hear it and I want to cry. But not with Remus around. I pull away. "I'm so sorry Sirius, I shouldn't have snapped at you." Remus says. "I'm not mad at you Remus. I am mad at myself." I say. "But why was I the only one who could not come tonight? Why couldn't I eat food with you? Why won't you tell me what's up? Why was I worried sick and you still wouldn't let me in!" I saw Remus break in front of my eyes. He struggled with standing and sat down on my bed. James asked with his eyes if he should go away with the others and I nod. James drags Lily and Peter along with him while I try to calm Remus down. He seems like he is having a panic attack. I sit down with him and rub his back. "Breath with me Remus. In ..... And out. In trough your nose and out trough your mouth. Not too fast. Yeah, like that. You're doing so well Remus." It helps and now Remus is crying on my shoulder. "Do you know why I don't tell you? Because I care about you very much, and I don't want to hurt you. And I promise I will tell you, but I need a bit of time. And until I tell you I want us to be happy okay? I don't want to fight. I just want you and me to have a good time okay?" I ask and Remus nods. I give Remus some chocolate and we eat it together. "You have to sleep now Remus, you are tired to the bones and the full moon is on it's way." I say and I take Remus to his bed. "Can't you join me? I want you to be close to me." Remus asks. I nearly choke on my spit. "If you want me to I will." I say while I step in to his bed. He puts a arm around me and pulls me close. I can feel his body against mine. I can literally my ass near his cock. I can't sleep and I hear James and Peter come in. James looks surprised. I shake my head and James smiles and Pete puts his thumbs up. And now I do fall asleep.