Aaliyah POV
I sat there crying my eyes out as I couldn't bare with the pain anymore. I lived with a family that didn't care for me anymore, my parents used to abuse me when I was younger but they had recently stopped when I had turned 13 and started to go to middle school. My mom was a drunk and did hardcore drugs, and the fact is that she cared more about drinking her life away or out cheating on my dad with other men. My dad was never around until I had turned 3 and he was probably out with his secretary at the moment right now. He thinks I don't know but I do and there's no way you have to go on a business trip everyday each week, just admit to your wrongs. I was in my room just ready to end life at this point. I get bullied in school and I only had one friend that I met. His name is Jahseh.
I met him when I was 10 and he's been there for me through it all, but recently he's been acting weird because of his little girlfriend. He don't call to check up on me like he used to, he don't FaceTime me anymore, don't send any texts, I just don't understand what I did wrong. He haven't talked to me in 2 months and I know he's an up and coming artist but I just feel so alone.
I wiped my tears away and grabbed my phone sending a text message to those I did have saved in my contacts starting with the person that's supposed to be my bestfriend that I should be able to go and talk to about anything that's going on in my life. My MOTHER.
"Hi.... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and that I love you very much so, even after everything that you have done I just wanted to tell you that you won't have to worry about me anymore. We been through so much hurt and pain and I know I can't move on from this unless I forgive you and I want you to know that I forgive you. I'm sorry for ruining your life like you had told me multiple times before, I'm sorry for being a mistake and that you were right about me on saying how I shouldn't be born. I still love you and this will be my last time on this earth. Melissa Marie Gonzalez, I'm sorry...."
After I sent the message, I had one more to send and that was to Jahseh. He's out with his girlfriend right now and I know so because he posted it on his Instagram. The pictures he once had of us on there he took down because of her. I'm not tripping about it though. I think he honestly don't even care for me like he used to and we've been friends since we were kids. It's crazy how people can change so much because of a person or because of events that happened in people's life. I rubbed on my face and sighed as I clicked onto Jahseh name and called him. Maybe.... Just maybe I'll change my mind if he helps me. The phone rang a good 3 times before the called was answered. I sighed of relief that he answered.
"Jahseh....." I spoke into the phone with a cracked voice hoping that he'd talk to me even though it's been a few months since we last talked.
"Um, this isn't Jahseh, who tf is this?.". I should've figured. It was the devil herself . I smacked my lips while rolling my eyes.
"Can I speak to Jahseh please?" I hugged into the phone. I heard her snickers as she probably knew who I was by then. I can hear him in the background saying he didn't want to speak and then the line just hung up. That was my breaking point and I was over it. I already had what I needed to say to Jahseh in my notes and I just decided to copy and paste it in our messages.
"My tears are dropping as I'm looking down at my phone. I remember the moments we once shared. I remember our love & friendship and realize how stupid I am. I'm sorry. You're the only person I can tell all my secrets to, the first person I want to talk to when I wake up, and the last person I want to talk to before I drift off to sleep. You helped me to become a better person. I miss the moments when we laugh together, cry together, and tap our backs together. You're my bestfriend and I care for you but I guess the feeling is mutual. I don't want to be on this earth anymore, so I'm telling you that this will be the last time you hear from me. I love you Jahseh, I've always loved you, more then just a friend and I'm a fool for not telling you. I'm sorry I just can't do this shit called life anymore. I love you, forever and always🫶🏽."
I sent my message and that was that. I started to hysterically cry while having anxiety because I'm really about to end this shit called life. I got up and changed into a shirt and some shorts while tying my hair up. I went into my bathroom grabbing the pills I had and a bottle of NyQuil. I poured a handful of pills into my hands and threw them into my mouth and swallowed them down with the bottle of NyQuil medicine. I started feeling sleepy and laid down on my bed. My phone started blaring going off, I slowly looked over at my phone and seen my mom, Jahseh and other people in my family calling and texting me. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling as I slowly closed my eyes and it was nothing but darkness.
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I wanted to do this and post a little something before I finished with this one chapter after so many years, again I'm just now getting back into this writing shit but I hope y'all like this quick little story, I might do a part 2 I don't know yet🫢. But we'll see😉. Enjoy!!
