Restart

Chapter 29

Although she still hadn't processed everything, Lauren did eventually fall asleep. Camila drifted off rather early, likely exhausted from the emotional toll of the day's events, but Lauren followed soon after.

When the older girl woke up, she panicked a bit as she realized she was in bed alone. She immediately crawled out and moved to her feet and was relieved when she heard the shower on in the bathroom. She opened the door which was left unlocked and slipped inside when she was met with the faint sound of Camila crying.

"Camila," Lauren said softly as she stood outside of the shower.

There was no reply, only the sound of Camila trying to take a deep breath to calm herself down.

"Camz," Lauren tried again.

When she still didn't respond, Lauren slowly opened the tinted glass shower door to see Camila sitting on the floor of the shower, curled into a ball as she hugged her knees.

"Camz," Lauren repeated, this time the word coming off slightly as a gasp as she bent down.

Camila was clutching a wet washcloth in one of her hands and patches of her skin were nearly red from incessant scrubbing.

"I feel so dirty," Camila choked when Lauren took the washcloth from her hand, setting it off to the side.

Lauren reached to turn off the water before helping Camila to her feet.

"I shouldn't have slept with him," Camila continued as Lauren wrapped a dry towel around her body. "I didn't love him. How could I after what he did to me?"

"Come here," Lauren said softly as she led Camila back into their bedroom. She sat her down on their bed, sitting next to her as she brought her lips to the brunette's temple.

"He was mad again that night," Camila recalled, reaching for Lauren's hand as she stared off blankly. "I thought if I...maybe he wouldn't...", she trailed off, her voice shaky.

Lauren gripped Camila's hand tighter as she felt tears begin to well in her own eyes.

"But he did," Camila continued. "During...after...everything was fine but then he just snapped," she choked. "His label was threatening to drop him and he took it out on me. I don't understand why. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything," Lauren insisted as she moved her free hand to Camila's face so she would look at her. "You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve any of it."

Camila leaned in to press her forehead to Lauren's, gripping the back of her neck as a few more tears slid down her cheeks.

"It almost doesn't feel real. None of this does," Camila whispered with a labored breath.

"I'm real," Lauren promised as she brought her thumbs to Camila's face, wiping gently at the tear-stained skin. "You and I, this is real. I love you so much, Camila, and I would never do anything to hurt you. I'm not going to let him hurt you again. I promised you I was going to keep you safe, and I meant it."

"I don't know how you can even look at me when I can't even look at myself," Camila said softly as she moved her head to the crook of Lauren's neck.

"You are not a reflection of what he did to you," Lauren promised, bringing her hand to the back of Camila's head to run her fingers through her damp locks. "You're so much more than that. You're such an amazing mother, daughter, friend, and girlfriend. That's what I see. I still see the seventeen year old girl I fell in love with. He didn't taint any of that, Camila. He doesn't have that power. You're still you, so that's how I can look at you. I look at you and see the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life, inside and out. I love you, so much."

"I love you too," Camila replied as she lifted her head and gently brought their lips together. A few more tears had escaped her eyes but this time they were happy ones. She couldn't remember ever feeling this safe or loved.

"I'm so lucky to have you," she continued as she took Lauren's face in her hands. "This baby is so lucky to have you," she added barely above a whisper.

A small smile traced Lauren's lips before leaning in to place a soft kiss on the younger woman's. She knew none of this was going to be easy, but she would do everything in her power to make things work. She knew she wanted to be with Camila, and that was all that mattered.