my backup

Anger

I stare at the ceiling without really thinking anything but thinking so much at the same time.

The fight with Alex was two days ago, it ain't that bad anymore, but he's working more than usually.

I'm all alone in my bed since Alex already left for work and Clay has been out the whole night.
Lately I've been also feeling really alone, even with Alex by my side.

I'm not saying that I'm losing feelings, I'm saying that I feel left alone even when I'm with the person I love.

I hear how a door gets slammed which made me flinch. I hear loud foot steps passing my room and another door closing.

I get up and carefully open my door.
"Clay? Was that you?" I walk out of my room and over to clays where I knock.

"Go away!" He angrily says "dang- whats wrong?" I open the door without asking.
His back his turned to mine while he looks out of the window.

His room is messy and cold for some reason.

"You okay?" I near myself to him "didn't I tell you to go away." he angrily turns around and stares into my eyes.

"Leave." He points at the door "it doesn't really scare me, it turns me on you know." I tilt my head with a smile.

I get pushed against the door.

"I'm not kidding." Clay stares down to me "When I tell you to leave me alone then do it. You ain't someone special to, I don't care if you get hurt you."

"I know you won't hurt me." I only look up with my eyes. His eyes are red and it looks like he has been crying but I refuse to believe that.

He grabs my wrist and pushes me out of his room before Clay locks the door.

"Are you seriously?" I feel shocked "Who hurt you.." I mumble before I sit myself down on the couch.

I hear how clays PlayStation gets turned on which made me laugh a little as a joke sneaks into my head.

"Come on you'll turn your PlayStation on but not me?" I knock on his door. "Open the door I don't wanna stay alone, its boring." I sigh after a while of silence.

I take something to unlock his door but it doesn't really work. I lay my weight on the door when it suddenly opens and I get smacked against the ground.

"Ow.." I mumble sitting up "what are you doing?" Clay looks down "I'm bored." I smile up to him.

"So? Go and do something." Clay walks away which made me follow him "Come on clay.. you can touch me cause when you do its like you're taking me to the clouds and
when you hold me my body becomes a weapon.." I whisper in his ear while touching his shoulders.

"I'm not in the mood for that." he slaps my hand away "don't play hard to get." I say "I don't play George, if I wanted to I would." he gets closer.

"You're really needy today." he looks deep into my eyes "you noticed?" I near myself "call Alex." he smirks before passing me.

I feel anger.

"Stop playing already!" I yell "Like I said, I do not play." Clay angrily turns to me "I'm not in the mood to please you, alright?"

He doesn't want to please me but just the way he speaks to me pleases me.

"Stop looking at me like that!" Clay shouts as he pushes me a little "get yourself someone else who pleases you!" he makes me walk backwards.

I bang against the front door and his hand bang around me as he looks deep into my eyes.
"I'm starting to hate the sharing part." he hissed.

"what do you mean?" I whisper "I don't wanna share you." he whispers "is that so?" I tilt my head "I don't want to share your hole with someone."

"That's your problem I guess." I feel a smirk on my lips "my problem?" he looks down at me before laughing.

"Darling."
The nickname made me bite my lip.

"It's you who's in need of me. I'm telling you that if you want me to keep going, stop giving yourself to Alex."

My eyes wide.
"What?"
"You heard me." Clay smirks before moving his hands away.

"He's my boyfriend- I can't just stop that!" I angrily yell but clay just shrugs his shoulders and turns around.

"Don't walk away, stupid whore!" I shout turning him "Who's the whore here? Am I the one cheating because of a dick or you?" he slaps my hand.

"You're the one sleeping with everyone!" I shout at him "still not cheating like your dead ass!"

"I hate you, ugh!" I turn around "move your flat ass away from here." Clay shouts behind before going into his room.

I want to kill him!
I kick against my bed which made my foot hurt.

At least my need has gone away a little because of that male whore.

I eventually fell asleep at some time, cause the next thing I see and feel is clay.

He's moving in and out of me making me moan up. "w-wha- hugh!" I get slammed back into the bed.

"You wanted me to please you, didn't you?" He whispers.

My whole body shivers and it should be weird.. I should feel weird that he was in me while I was sleeping.

But for some reason I'm even more turned on, I like it.

"What? You get excited that I fucked you while you were sleeping?" Clay grabs my hair "pervert."

The faster he moves the louder I get, the more I feel, the more it gets too much. I feel so many things that I feel like I'm dying.

"Clay-" I moan "Clay-"

"That's right, moan my name George." he whispers in my ear before licking it "too much-"

"Too much?" I hear him "ughgh-" I grab myself into the bed while making it dirty "since when do you have the two words too much?" I hear him smirk.

I grab his hand and turn a little to look with glassy eyes at him. "Crying already?" He asks before his eyes slightly wide.

"Is it hurting you- you alright?" He pulled it out and came closer to me. I breath out as I turn on my back.

"Too much feelings-" I whisper "too sensitive." I breath out. "Dang- you made me look like a loser." he grabs my neck which made me whimper out of nowhere.

"Whimpering now huh?" his eye brow moves up "lets continue." Clay moves in again.