my backup

Nice side

"I can't believe you would do something like that to me.. I thought you loved me!" Alex shouts at me with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry.." I mumble as tears roll down my face "I should've known it! I was so stupid!" he shouts "and I wanted to marry you!?"

"It wasn't planed like that!" I shout "do you think I knew what I'm doing?"
"Of course you did! You had sex with him!" Alex shouts.

"Since when were you guys together?" he asks "we weren't together and we aren't." I mumble "then for how long did you give him your ass, you freaking bitch!" he yells.

"It was only because of you! Because you never satisfied me!" I shout "I love you, clay was just for sex nothing more!"

"You wanna say its my fault that you cheated?" he scoffs "no- not like that! It was just that.." I sigh "I never really felt good. I liked it in other ways.."

"You should've said something!" he hides his face "how stupid can you be!" he looks back at me "I was embarrassed!"

"You should be now!" Alex shouts.

"I am! Okay, and I'm sorry but I can't change my mistakes!" I yell "then don't change them!"

"I asshole took his ass in and he takes my lover!" he kicks against the wall before staring at me.

"Pack your things and leave." he says and I'm not even shocked, I knew this would happen the moment the truth comes out.

I knew we would be separated.

I packed my things and left his apartment with tears in my eyes. I know I'm the one in the wrong, but I do still love him.

I throw my bag on the ground and sit down as I stare at the ground. I know it was wrong and I do feel bad... but for some reason I wouldn't have changed it if I could.

I don't know why but I can feel that deep down, I would've changed nothing. I pull out my phone and notice that it's dead, completely.

So I stand up and make my way to his apartment again. Its not that far away but it's also not really near by either.

When Clay opened the door he immediately wanted to close it again, but I stopped him.
"I've nowhere else to stay." I mumble, he slowly opens the door again "what do you mean?" he quietly asks.

"He kicked me out, obviously." I look to my bags "he found out?" he asks which made me nod.

"Come in." he takes a bag of mine and puts it inside. "You wanna eat something?" Clay asks "I'm good, thanks." I nod.

"How did he find out?" Clay sits down next to me "someone told him, he said a neighbour or something." I say.

"I don't really care- it doesn't really matter after all." I look out of the window into the darkness.

"You should've called me.." I hear clay "I would've picked you up, it's far away until here."

"My phone is dead." I awkwardly laugh
"are you okay?" Clay asks after silence "I guess.." I mumble.

"I knew this day would come eventually." I whisper "maybe.." clay mumbles as he sits closer to me.
He carefully puts his arm around me and stays like it, but he's not chilling.

You can tell he's uncomfortable.

"What are you doing?" I ask "I'm being nice, now be quiet." he says "you're uncomfortable yourself." I laugh "because I usually don't like you."

"hmm, you like me right now?" I raise an eyebrow which made him turn around and give me a look.

"I'll take it-" I laugh before I lay my head on his shoulder and feel how he relaxes. I close my eyes after awhile of staring into the ground.

I slept in cause the next thing I did is wake up in the middle of the night and find myself covered in a blanket with clays arm over me.

I look to him but he's sleeping just like I did.
Compared to me he sleeps while sitting, I was laying down on his lap.

I take the blanket and cover the both of us before laying myself down again.
After about 20 minutes I hear how clay wakes up but I continue to try and fall asleep.

I feel his eyes on me and suddenly he touches my cheek, I guess to check if I'm cold. He carefully stands up, while I pretend to be asleep, and picks me up.

I feel how I get red and try to not let him know I'm up.

What is he doing? Throwing me out but he wouldn't dare.. right? I hear how a door opens and a sudden cold comes at me before I get a heart attack.

I was about to open my eyes when I suddenly feel myself laying in a bed. The door gets closed and clay comes into the bed, he pulls the blanket over us and hugs me while resting his chin on my head.

Looks like clay does have a nice side and feelings for other people.
Or it could be that the night we talked changed something in him.

The next morning I woke up to things falling down which made me walk out of the bedroom. "You're up." Clay says "you woke me up." I roll my eyes.

"when do you leave?" he asks "huh?" I make "I don't want to spend another few months with you."

"Are you seriously?" I scoff "I mean.. kinda, yeah." Clay says "yesterday you cuddled yourself into me and now you talk like that?"

"I wasn't myself yesterday, I was drunk." he laughs "you didn't really think I would be this nice to you?"

"I don't care that he found out, that's your problem not mine." he continues doing something in the kitchen.

And I just feel anger in me.
How can he act like that! I thought he has a nice side but it was all just fake!

"Fuck you!" I yell at him before walking back into his room.