SILVER EYES (GXG)

Chapter 15: Unexpected Reflections

It was hard to believe how quickly things had shifted. Less than an hour ago, I was swept up in anger, almost killing my combat trainee, with a flurry of punches to her face and now I was in Heather's room, lost in that endless kissing session.

I had no thoughts of Kate or the consequences of what I'd done. Instead, I was reflecting on how crazy was to realize your body has its own language and can speak with other bodies without you noticing. Plus, It has also its own memory, completely separate from your mind. So you might think you've moved on from something mentally, but your body hasn't. And then one day boom– there's this weird little tug-of-war happening inside you. It's something you don't even notice until your body decides to speak up. 

That's when it hits you: you are a stranger to yourself.

The way Heather kissed me, with an urgency that told me how much more she wanted and at the same time, with a struggle to hold herself back, sent a jolt through my body. Just like grabbing a live wire. My body reacted on its own, as I was telling you. First impatient, then scared, a flicker of anger flashing through, before it seemed to stabilize, only to loop right back to impatience, desire, and finally straight into panic.

It surprised me, honestly. Especially because the last time I hooked up with a girl, I thought that if that was what everyone called love, it fit right in with the dull landscape of The Other Side. Good, but not thrilling. Entertaining, but not worth dying for. Comfortable, but not essential. And for sure, it wasn't even close to the chaotic mess of emotions I was drowning in now.

That was years ago, though. Her name was Lue, a girl who loved chewing aromatic herbs she'd gathered from the woods. Her mouth always tasted like mint, melissa, or rosemary, her top three favorites. I guess Lue didn't impress me that much back then? She was cute, though and we had fun, but I'd never lost control with her, never felt my body so completely stirred up like now.

And I wasn't the only one. Heather seemed a little unleashed herself. Strange to see, but damn, it was sexy. She started by holding my face, but at some point, her hands found my wrist. It didn't take long before one slipped under my shirt.

And when her fingers brushed my skin, the independence of my body went even wilder. Her touch burned, sparking something in every corner of me. I just wished my mind would stop racing so much. It was like it was trying to keep up with my body, which was moving a hundred miles a minute. Not that I didn't want to lose control, but somehow, I wanted us to get there together, mind and body, hand in hand. More in sync, you know? Like the way Heather's lips moved with mine, now that was the gold standard of synchronicity. The rhythm was almost too perfect, like we'd been doing this forever.

I cupped her face with one hand, and with the other, trailed down her neck before disappearing into her hair. God. That hair. Impossibly soft, yet equally wild, like a waterfall daring me to dive headfirst. I couldn't get enough of it, and I had to make a conscious, demanding choice to ignore my heart. It was pounding way too loud in every vein, blood pulse, and limb of my body. It almost seemed to be trying to steal the spotlight from all the other physical reactions. So, I shoved it to the background noise with all my other messy thoughts and blocked out everything else.

Yeah, that was better. Just her. Just me.

But, of course, the moment you try to hold to something too tightly, the universe is right there, ready to smash it with the hardest rock it can find.

A sharp knock on the door, but It could've been a bucket of cold water. The blowback would've been the same.

"Don't open it." I said.

Heather turned to the door, lifting his body a little and releasing mine. She hesitated (and I loved that she did) But finally gave in, "I have to."

"Heather? Grace? Are you in there?" It was Lea's voice.