Eyes So Blue I Drown

41| Never

ARABELLA

His words strike me like a dagger to the heart. He still hasn't lifted his gaze from the laptop screen, as if this conversation were nothing more than an inconvenience.

I sit back quietly. Unable to reply to him.

I believed that what we shared mattered more to him and that he would want me by his side, especially during these times. But his coldness and detachment are painful reminders that our connection might not be as strong as I thought.

"I won't go anywhere. I don't want to leave you here in this situation." I tell.

"I've told you before too that it won't be the same here anymore. Everything has changed. It would be better for you if you leave" he says, without meeting my eyes.

The coldness in his voice and words cut deep through my heart. The time I spent here with him made me feel like living my past again. The past that had no grudges. "I thought... whatever we have right now mattered more to you. When will you stop fucking playing with my heart" Instead of trembling with hurt and frustration, my voice is so complex that it hurts me in the throat.

My eyebrows quiver and shake slightly, even though I try to hide the look of vulnerability. His eyes finally meet mine and stare. I can't handle these weird emotions.

I stand up from the couch and walk fast back to my room.

I lock the room from inside. As expected, he followed me to my room to talk to me. His hand rests on the door, "Open the door, it's not like that" he speaks.

Fuck you.

"I don't ever want to see your face!" I whimper, trying to control my cry.

Silence falls on the other side of the door after hearing my words.

"It's for your security" his voice gets lowered.

"Cut the crap. Be a man and protect what's yours, rather than dumping them in the middle of nowhere!" I couldn't stop my tears this time, there's a heavy feeling in my heart, "You're again doing what you did two years ago. Why don't you realize? You're again going to leave it all behind and blame the security for it! I've never seen someone as selfish, as self-centered, and as insensitive as you!"

"You think you would call me to you whenever you want, and push me away whenever you want. Stop playing with my heart!" I cry out.

I wanted him to fight for it. Protect it. Not just completely shut it off after it came to this point.

I fucking hate him for this.

Seconds pass by, but no words come from there.

"There's nothing for me above your life" he speaks confidently, but words come out of his mouth in a broken way, "Not even us"

He leaves.

Anger courses through my veins like wildfire. I clench my fists, and without thinking, I grab a vase from the shelf. The familiar clatter of breaking glass follows as I hurl it against the wall. Shards of porcelain scatter across the floor.

Tears blur my vision, and I don't even acknowledge when they start flowing. I want to scream, to let out all this pent-up frustration.