Paragade Lost

Chapter Ten

"What do you mean, this is all that's left of your team, Kirrahe? Why the fuck are they in the med bay?!" I snarled, eyeing the battered and beaten Salarians. He just shrugged, and I stormed away, slamming through the door before it was fully open. "What in the ever-loving fuck!" I started, even as Chakwas and Jenkins tried to hold me back. "Let go of me before I put the both of you on those remaining tables." I growled, and they both backed away.

"Can someone PLEASE tell me how a walk in the fucking park mission that should have been a piece of cake went so horribly fucking WRONG?!" I practically screamed, before I was able to catch myself and bring my volume down. "Was it me? Did I fuck this up? Did I get my intel horribly, irreparably screwed?" I asked, voice incredulous.

"No, Commander. From what I read of the mission brief, your intel matched perfectly." Kirrahe said from behind me, his voice neutral. I turned and eyed him, taking a deep breath.

"We're not children, Shepard." Ash snapped from behind me, and I whipped my head around.

"Excuse me?" I asked, voice going soft.

"I said, we're not children, Shepard. We don't need you to lay out every single step of the mission for us like we don't even know how to tie our shoes. We're capable of ascertaining what's important and what's not." She snapped, and my hands fell to my side in disbelief. Wordlessly, strangely numb, I turned back to Kirrahe.

"I am eternally grateful for your help, and forever in your debt. I grieve for the loss of your men." I said, tone wooden. I took a couple steps towards the door, before Ash spoke again.

"That's it? Your own crew is in the med bay, and the only person you have any good words for is an alien?" She spat out, and I had to close my eyes for a deep breath, before I whirled on her.

"Kirrahe followed my fucking orders, and he's the only reason you two maggots are in one fucking piece to be in the med bay to begin with. Every. Step. You. Deviated. From. My. Mission. Plan. You. Got. Someone. KILLED." I ground out, inches from her face. "One more step, and it would have been YOU. Two more steps, and it would have been both of YOU. You're lucky I was on the Citadel cleaning up Saren's mess, and Anderson was the one who let you back on the ship after hearing the mission report. If I had found out how badly you'd deviated from your orders with no sound reason, I'd have fucking left you there." I snapped, before I turned on my heel and left the room.

I made my way to the bridge to give Joker his marching orders, then I used the vent shafts to make my way down to the cargo hold, so I wouldn't be seen or bothered as I made my way to the Mako. Once I was inside, I shut everything behind me, turned off all the interior lights and my omnitool, and just closed my eyes. Nearly killed myself mentally and physically trying to ensure that both of those stubborn fucknuggets made it off Virmire alive and without a scratch, and they both nearly died instead. If this didn't scare them into doing what the fuck they were told, then I didn't know what the hell I was going to do with them.

My solitude didn't last very long, however, and the observation port to my left cracked just a bit, just a sliver after about half an hour. Then, the sounds of someone doing menial work to the hull started up. I closed my eyes and took a shuddering breath, ready to rip Garrus a new one, when Anderson's voice sounded through the crack. "Ah, working on the Mako in your spare time again?" He asked, and I heard a soft noise.

"It keeps my hands busy and helps to clear my head. I like calibrating things." He said, and despite the rage and grief roiling in me, I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing like a teenager at the potential innuendo in that comment. Surprisingly, that helped calm the storm, just a little bit.

"Good hobby, then. Could be a lot worse. Have you seen Shepard?" Anderson asked, and I tried to sink further down into the seat, like he could see me somehow.