The Vortex: Rectification

Chapter Four.

Chapter Forty-Four.

I think I could have gotten lost just staring at Jamie, at feeling his arms wrapped around me as Liylah's sobs settle and the fact, I am not about to disappear begins to set in. For so long I thought that I would have to live with the what if that came with Jamie, all the longing and confusion that would swallow me when it came to him.

Even Alexander knew about most of it, he never wavered, never stopped telling me that he understood that he had to share my heart with Jamie. I guess telling Alexander about him was about more than that, it was a last-ditch attempt at saving Alexander from what I would inevitably do to him.

Selfishly I like that these two groups, that now form what I guess is one, never spoke about me together. I don't think it would have been a nice feeling to know your forever crush and (ex?)-boyfriend were talking about how I left them. Not that I necessarily think I am that important, it would be an odd topic to broach now that I am back regardless.

Even with the prospect, the hope that Alexander will show up at some point, I can still feel the pull to Jamie. Something that is stronger and more understandable now that I'm older, like this bond we carry with each other that we both got good at ignoring.

I want Alexander to show up. I know that we aren't together anymore, I pray that he kept his promise and did his best to move on and let me be gone but I need him to be alive. I can't let myself think about Aleera yet, and so I need Alexander to walk through the door and be happy, be healthy.

Because as much as looking into Jamie's eyes makes all kinds of fluttery feelings, that I am too broken and in no position to analyse fill my chest... I can't not see Kyla and Fitz in every one of his features.

The tears come faster now, my eyes fluttering closed and face falling to Liylah's shoulder as she sits up, the facts I never thought I would have to face. Is that I missed so much, it feels like I have missed everything.

Jamie's arms swoop around Liylah's waist as loud click of the front door opening fills the quiet room, despite my sniffling even I hear it. My eyes train to where Nessa darts through the archway into the hallway, I don't have very long to process why Jamie is tugging Liylah away from me when Jai fills the empty archway.

My ankles throb, knees ache and the heaviness in my body threatens to pull me down but I make it halfway across the room to meet his arms anyway. He swaddles me with his long arms, brown eyes wide and disbelieving as he takes me in. If I could jump up and cling to his body I would, all these reunions and big feelings are making me feel like my heart might give out.

"I've missed you so much" I force out, lucky my mouth is close to his ear as he slants over me. No sign of letting go any time soon, at least not until we both feel Nessa slip past behind us, back into the room.

Jai presses his forehead against mine, hands steady on my waist as if he's worried, I can't hold my own weight even though he wasn't here to see the state I was in. "There's a lot we need to talk about, sooner than maybe is appropriate but I've missed you more than I can say 'Rora"

I am only plagued with confusion for a split second, Jai slinks away, probably to join Liylah and Jamie. The former who looks like she's been to hell and back the last twenty-four hours and in all fairness she might have. None of us have spoken, or had the chance, for long enough to get all the facts straight in our heads.

The first thing I notice is that his hair is longer, not so long that it looks messy and uncontrolled like Harry's but long enough that the curls I used to play with at the base of his neck are full, loose ringlets now. His blonde locks are streaked with sporadic light hairs, not quite grey but more ashen than the golden hue of the rest of his hair.