eddies pov
its been four days since bucks memorial ceremony, today is the day that me and the 118 return to work i drop chris off at carla's place before heading to the 118.when i arrive the place is silent there is no life in the place anymore. the place is dull and depressing i think losing someone like buck is going to have an everlasting effect on the 118 even in years to come when most of us don't even work here anymore .buck was the light the 118 needed he helped everyone in this station for the better, i don't know if i will ever be the same i don't talk much anymore , i to live in my head because in there everything is the way it is suppose to be everything is kind and innocent in a world that is nasty and mean.
i keep reading over the letter . nothing changes i know that reading it again will not change the out come of what happened but i hold on to the hope i have because to be honest i think it is the only thing that is keeping me going . i keep expecting to see buck where ever i go , when i walk up to the kitchen in the 118 i expect him to be there with his usual smirk or when i go to the locker room i expect to see him fumbling around after dropping something ,his memory haunts me.
bobby has called me to his office i enter he is sitting there behind his desk, he looks rough but what can you expect buck was like a son to him and losing a child the grief can consume you.
i sit down on the chair across from him, do i tell him about the letter because i need to talk about it to someone before it consumes me, but before either of us can say anything i just break down and i cant stop, the worst thing about denial is that when you move on from it it hits you like a ton of bricks your angry and you barginning for more time that you know you will never have. Bobby shoots up and hugs me and we both sit there for a bit. i needed this, i need someone to hold me and tell me that its alright that i can have a moment to not act like i'm ok that i can feel what i need to feel. i try to speak but nothing comes out so i grab the letter from my pocket and hand it to Bobby because i cannot bare t read it aloud, he reads it and nods , then he hugs me again ." im sorry that you never got to tell him who you felt" bobby says "but you cant carry this all by yourself you need to let us help you we need to help eachother to survive"he says and tries to give a small smile .
all of a sudden the bell goes off me and bobby shoot up we run out off the office and start to gear up wit the rest of the team and off we go, bobby radios the dispatch centre to find out what is going on , the main LA hospital is has had some sort of explosion there are many people unaccounted for and many united have been dispatched
"there was no goodbye,just an absence, sudden,abrupt , and louder than any voice could be"- edward lee
"people talk about grief as emptiness , but it's not empty. it's full. Heavy. Not an absence to fill. A weight to pull. Your skin caught on hooks chained to rough boulders made of all the futures you thought you'd have" - Elan Mastai
A/N sorry for the short filler chapter big chapter coming up soon!!!
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Vivid Memory~buddie~
Fanfictionevan buckely has had feeling for his best friend for as long as he can remember ,what buck does not know is that his best friend shares these feeling.but what will happen when an accident turns the 118s life upside down?when a enormous weather disa...
