TMI High [COMPLETED]

Chapter 16: Goodbye Brother

Clary POV

A heart attack. That's what took my brother. A FUCKING HEART ATTACK! He was so young--none of us saw it coming. Why? Why did his body have to reject the heart again? Why did he have to die alone? My brother--the only one who could calm me down, the only one who didn't look at me like I was broken after I was raped--is gone.

One of his first wishes when he got sick again was that at his funeral, everyone wears white instead of black. So now I'm putting on the white outfit I got almost two years ago just in case he did die. A white sundress, off white blazer, and white wedges. I'm almost surprised it still fits. I put on some simple silver jewelery then turn to the twins.

It's like they've been able to sense the pain I'm in because all week they've been extremely cuddly and quiet. Every time I enter the nursery I burst into tears which I always scold myself for. I have to be strong for them.

I'm just finishing getting Luca dressed when I feel two arms wrap around my waist. Already knowing who it is, I put Luca in the play pen and turn to face him. I look at Jace and he whispers, "Hey Clary. How are you feeling?"

Instead of responding I lean my face into his chest and start to cry. Jace hugs me tightly and runs a hand over my hair. "It hurts so much," I say between sobs.

"I know Clary. God I know." It takes me a minute to remember that Jace's mom died in child birth and his father was murdered while he was just in his room when he was ten. He won't even use his birth last name, Herondale, anymore. I look up at him to see him tearing up a little. The boy who never cries is now close to tears. "Let me tell you Clary, this is gonna suck. It's gonna hurt like hell, but you're strong. You'll get through it. It'll be tough, but you'll get through it."

"Thank you Jace," I whisper. I lean up and lightly press my lips to his. After a minute a lay my head on his chest and close my eyes.

We stay like that for a while until my dad comes in. "It's time to go," he says. His eyes are still puffy and red from crying.

I nod and pick up Cecily. Jace picks up Luca and the baby bag and we walk to the elevator. The drive to the cemetery is quiet. When we get out of the car, I see my mom and run to her. She's sobbing so much but why shouldn't she? She just lost her first born. I've only been a mother for two months and can't imagine losing Luca or Cecily. What makes the situation even worse, the day after Jonathan died, Mom found out that she's pregnant.

I'm sobbing too as I embrace her and whisper, "It hurts Momma. Why does it hurt so much?"

"I don't know baby. I really don't." We both collapse again in sobs. Dad comes over and hugs us both. It's obvious to anyone he's holding the tears in.

Luke comes over and we all walk to the closed casket. I lean into my father as he puts his arm protectively around my shoulders. I look to my left slightly and see the Lightwoods, Simon, and Magnus. Izzy is holding Cecily while Jace still had Luca. I weakly smile at them when they see me. Isabelle smiles weakly back, Alec nods slightly, and Max waves. Simon comes over to me and wraps me in a tight hug before letting me go so the service can start.

Somehow, I make it through the service with a straight face. When all the bs that's said at funerals is over, the casket isn't buried, but taken to the crematorium--another wish of Jon's. As people come to give us their condolences, I zone out. I don't want to cry now. Not in front of these strangers. They may have been Jonathan's or my parents' friends, but I don't know them.

I'm brought out of my trance by Magnus embracing me. "I'm so sorry ClareBear. I wish this could have happened to someone else." I bury my head in Magnus's shoulder and cry. I feel someone put a hand on my shoulder. When I lift my head I see my friends around me. I see Alec is the one who's hand is on my shoulder and he's smiling weakly at me. I wrap my arms around Simon and Izzy and cry.

"Why Jonathan? Why couldn't it have been anyone else?" We continue this hugfest for a while until the bring Jon's urn out.

I take Luca and kiss his head as we're handed the urn. My parents take it and everyone walks to the place Jon wanted his ashes spread. As we walk to the big lake, Jace wraps one arm around my waist, holding me close while he holds Cecy in the other. Jace and I stand with Luke off to the side while my parents spread the ashes--both are sobbing.

I feel a few tears escape my otherwise straight face as I whisper, "Goodbye brother." Jace kisses the top of my head and whispers something inaudible into my forehead. I don't have a chance to try and figure out what he says when Isabelle comes up behind and wraps an arm around my shoulder. Tears fill my eyes as I see my brother's ashes fly away in the wind.

Out of habit at funerals, barely even register myself whispering, "Ave atque vale, Jonathan Morgenstern."

AN:
This is a filler chapter cuz I actually wasn't planning on killing Jonathan but hey, we all have changes of plans. That and I feel like a bitch lately. Anyway, if you read City of Lies, you'll see I deleted it. I just wasn't feeling it anymore. Sorry for people that liked it, but I got bored with it. And now I have more time for this story! Anyway, I'm finally on summer break so I'll be updating even more now. See ya book nerds!~Bella