Chapter Twenty-Two

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I turn  off  the  recording, and  we  sit  for  a  few  seconds   in  silence,

                    letting the worried  voices  of  the  families  settle  into   us.  Sam  sits

        beside  me, his pen poised over a  blank  page  in  a  notebook.  He's

       been sitting that  way  since  I  started  replaying  the   interviews.  He

hasn't written down a single word.

    "How do you deal with stuff like this every day?" he asks.

    "What do you mean? This isn't your first murder investigation," I say.

    "You're  right.  It's  not.  But  it  is  the  first  time  I  have  seen  anything  like

this and been the  one  in  charge  of  making  it  stop. The  occasional  murder

or domestic violence killing is one thing. This is completely different.

And I know you've seen it before. How do you deal with it?"

     "Because  I  have  to.  Because  someone  has  to.  Pretending   it   doesn't

exist and not confronting it isn't it isn't going to stop  sick  people  from  doing

these  things. It's  just  going  to  make  it  easier  for  them. I  decided  a  long

time ago I was going to be one of the people  to  stand  in  their  way.  I  might

not always  be  able  to  stop  lives  from  being  taken,  but  I  can  make  sure

people answer for what they've done," I tell him.

    "Is that why you left?" he asks.

    "I left to go into training and become an agent"

   "That's why you left Sherwood. I meant, is that why you left me?"

    "Sam, I can't have this conversation right now."



         "Why  not?"  he  asks. "We  never  had  it  before. You  never  gave  me  a

chance. Why  not  have  it  now  that  we're  back  in  the  same  room  together

for the first time in seven years?"

     "You knew  from  the  time  we  met  up   again  in  college  that  I  was  plan-

ning oh joining the Bureau. It wasn't a surprise."

    "It   was   a   surprise,  Emma.  That  wasn't  anything  like  the   girl   I   knew,"

he says.

     "The   girl   you   knew   hadn't   been    though    enough    yet.   She    hadn't

waited  for  years  for  someone  to  figure   out   who   killed   her    mother   and

why.  She  was   murdered  right  there  in  our  house,  and  no   one   was   ever

able  to   give  me   an   explanation.  Not   what   really   happened   to   her,   or
 
who  did  it,  or  why.  No  one  was  ever  made  responsible  for   that   or   held

accountable  for  the  damage  they  did  to  me  and  to  my   father.  I   couldn't

just  keep  letting  that  happen.  If  no  one  else  was  going  to  stand   up   for

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