I Am A Chemical

Along the Endless Canal

Fluorine sat atop the tall fence, pausing to process the drop.

"After you," Arsenic mumbled, sitting to her right.

Fluor grit her teeth, bracing herself for impact. So we're really doing this, huh?  Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes and took a leap of faith, before slamming directly and ungracefully into the ground below.

"Fluorine, you're a gas. Couldn't you have floated down?" teased Arsenic.

"Frick you, Arsenic, you know that's not how it works!!" cried Fluorine in reply. She rubbed her painful knees (which would probably definitely bruise), stood up shakily, and dusted her skirt off with both hands.

Arsenic slowly turned around and climbed down the other side with ease. After her two feet were firmly on the ground, she dusted her hands off with her own skirt, face in a wide smirk. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" she cackled, poking Fluorine's forehead with a finger. This elicited more disapproving growls from the reactive gas, who muttered a threat under her breath.

"Let's go," hissed Fluorine, taking off into the dense foliage despite her aching bones.

"Wrong way, Fluor."

"I KNOW." (She didn't.) 

Fluorine changed direction, not reducing her pace for even a moment. Arsenic, still giggling to herself, followed suit, her backpack filled with used coffee grounds in fresh, hot sopping scoops. 

- - -

The plan for the prank was simple. The two elements were to follow the canal until they reached the lab's water processing unit. They were to infiltrate the building and find the pipes that provided drinking water to the lab staff. (And hopefully the d-block dorms, but that's ensuring there's enough coffee grounds for the lab staff first.)

After that, they were to insert a hose deep into the pipes and add the used coffee grounds into the water system. If everything went smoothly, ALL of the lab staff would be drinking disgusting water that tastes ever-so-slightly like coffee. And that made the two authority-hating elements cackle.

But first, they had to find the end of the canal. And they weren't even sure how far it was to the building they sought. It's been about 20 minutes of continuous walking and they'd begun to think they were going nowhere.

"Arsenic... I think I hear footsteps."

"Don't be ridiculous, Fluorine." Arsenic dismissed. 

"I'm not being ridiculous! I heard something! It's got to be some kind of animal, or- or person! Or cryptid- We're being followed, I swear!"

"We're not being followed. You're being paranoid. Nobody is going to trail us this far-"

The pair was mid-discussion when they paused. The sound became clearer in their silence.

Footsteps.

"Hey, Arsenic. Hey, Fluorine." A voice approached the pair from behind. Arsenic's mouth clammed shut, eyes widening. Fluorine condensed and froze.

It was raspy. It was unbothered. It sounded a deeper contralto than one could reasonably expect from the voice of someone so young.

It was unmistakably Xenon.

Two heads slowly turned, and their suspicions were confirmed. Xenon had followed them through the dense forest, with her hands tucked in her jacket pockets and densely matted hair puffed out behind her, making it obvious she hadn't so much as looked at a comb in her life.

"Xenon- w- why... are you here?" Fluorine was startled, and for good reason. She often attempted to forge some kind of friendship with Xenon over the days she'd been in the tower, but even if Xenon seemed to respond positively, she still wasn't one to take any action for or against her. Xenon, like the other noble gases, was never one to interfere in anything. So, why now?

"I do not know." Xenon shrugged, expression unchanging.  She let out a quiet yawn. "I just had nothing better to do. I will be going back now."

"You're not going to report us to the teachers are you?" Arsenic narrowed her eyes, regarding Xenon with suspicion.

Xenon paused, before responding genuinely. "No. Do not worry about it."

"That's how tattletales talk," hissed Arsenic, before grabbing Xenon by her hair. "You're coming with us."

"Actually," Xenon interrupted, her voice still nonchalant and monotone as ever. "I found your interactions quite funny. I was kind of bored, so. I just came to watch."

Fluorine's jaw dropped.

A noble gas????

Bored??? Well, yes, boring, but BORED?? 

FINDING US FUNNY???

XENON had actual EMOTIONS, AFTER ALL!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

"Xenon! Xenoooonnnn!!! YOU'RE HUMAN!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!" Fluorine screeched louder than a banshee as she grabbed Xenon by the shoulders. "JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE- I'll be your friend! I'll ruin the lives of all the people you hate!!! I'LL DO ANYTHING!!!"

Xenon stared back at Fluorine, blank-faced and confused. "Are you okay, Fluorine? My statement shouldn't have warranted such a... colourful response."

"If the two of you would stop chit chatting, we are now 20 minutes deep into the middle of nowhere, and there's a FORK in the CANAL." Arsenic snapped, interrupting the two gases with a frustrated tone of voice. 

Oh.