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☁️ chapter ten ☁️

"Some people live for years with this Louis," Harry said softly, running his fingers through Louis' soft, feathery hair as he laid with his head in Harry's lap. "I mean, Stephen Hawking lived to be 76."

Louis sighed, "I don't know if I want that though. I.. I just. Like, want to really live if I'm alive. I don't want to live like that. For me, it just isn't something I want to do."

Harry nodded in response, they'd been talking about the future recently. Louis really didn't want to die, he was terrified at the thought. But now Harry realized, he only wanted to live if he could be his regular self. That was a painful realization for sure.

"That's understandable love," Harry said gently, leaning down and kissing his forehead.

Louis didn't say anything after that.

Louis wondered how long he had. They said it was progressing rapidly, so probably not long, maybe around a year. But hearing what Harry had said, planted more fear in him

He was afraid to die.

But he was also now afraid of living.

~• 2 months later •~

Recently, Louis had been opting to stay in hotel rooms rather than the tour bus. He was embarrassed of some of the things he needed help with, and didn't want extra eyes on him.

Everyone was already suspicious though, both the public eye and people in his private life. The fact that Harry had dropped out of nearly everything and was now touring with Louis raised some eyebrows, as well as Louis' continuous falls.

"Harry?" Louis called out from the hotel bathroom. He was in the shower while Harry was packing their clothes to get back on the road.

"Yeah babe?" Harry resounded, walking into the bathroom and poking his head in the shower.

"Could y-you um," he sighed, his cheeks turning bright red. "Could you h-h-help me washhh my hair?" He held up his hands which were a bit curled and currently cramping.

"Oh honey," Harry said lovingly, "of course I can. Just a moment, and I'll hop in with you."

"Thannnks" Louis slurred. He was pretty embarrassed, but he was becoming more used to this.

"Yeah, of course. I'm more than happy to help you my love." Harry replied as he got undressed to join Louis in the shower.

"I think I'm going to have to make an an-an-anounce... announcement," Louis said, frustrated as his speech as Harry massaged the shampoo into his hair.

Harry's heart ached, but he knew Louis was right. It was getting hard to hide, and people would have to find out eventually.

It just made it feel so much more real.

"Okay baby, I think that's a good idea," he paused. "Are you going to tell your family first? Or your band?"

Louis shook his head. "I hope it's n-not ruuude," he sighed. "I j-just don't want to talk about it... over a-and over."

"That's completely valid darling," Harry said. Although he would've probably recommended telling them separately, it was not his decision to make.

"I d-donn't know h-how to tell p-people though," Louis said, not sure of how to go about it. He didn't want to tweet it, but he also didn't want to announce it at his concert.

"Hmmm," Harry paused, rinsing the shampoo from Louis' hair and being careful not to get any in his eyes. "Maybe a video? Or a notes app statement?" He suggested.

Louis thought it over, "I th-think notes app," he said softly. He hated talking out loud unless it was with Harry, which made concerts more difficult. He still wanted to perform though, so he always gave it his all, while also trying not to talk much between songs. He could hide his slurring better when he sang.

"Good idea, I can help you with it if you want?" Harry suggested, he was always going above and beyond for him, while still trying to make sure he didn't make him feel incapable.

Louis nodded weakly, "yeah. Th-thanks," his voice sounded tired and sad.

It broke Harry's heart.

~•~•~
Harry typed out each word Louis said, composing the message for him to post.

Hello everyone.
I hope you are all doing well and enjoying tour! I am! But, I do have some unfortunate news to share. Many of you have been noticing some things have been off with me lately, and I'm sorry to say but those worries were valid. I recently have been diagnosed with ALS, a disease that affects my movement and speech. A lot of you might remember when I did the ice challenge, it's that disease. I'm keeping on the positive side though! And I'll continue this tour for as long as I can. I just wanted to be open with you all.
Lots of love,
Louis X

Harry held the screen out as Louis read the words he'd told him to write, and then solemnly he nodded, giving him the okay to post it to both Instagram and Twitter.

"I'm g-gonna nap... then w-we can look at r-responsesss" he mumbled tiredly, leaning on Harry's shoulder and closing his eyes. They were on the bus again, en route to their next venue.

He wasn't sure he was ready to see the public's response, and he just needed to breathe for a bit.

The moment Louis' breathing softened and it was clear he was asleep, Harry started to cry.

Hey guys! It's been a couple weeks but I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Love you alllll
-bells 🫶