está dañada

001

a/n: heeyy first chapter les gooooo i hope you all enjoy!! 💗

TW : mentions of sh, bullying, mentions of ed
that's all, i hope you enjoy <3

y/n's pov
i woke up with my alarm blaring.
"fuck" i whisper looking down at my arms. they stung. looks like i'd have to wear long sleeves again. id always regret what i did the day after, but did i stop? not a chance. at least it's starting to turn to fall. i got out of bed, put on my clothes, and sat down on my desk to do my makeup. if there was anything i cared the most about, it was the way people looked at me. i didn't put on makeup to look good, or to feel good. i put it on to make sure people thought i at least looked decent, presentable.

i finished up and packed my bags for school.
"mija you're breakfast is ready." i heard my mom say. i hated when she made breakfast for me, id usually say that i would pick something up on my way, or eat something at school but when she made me breakfast, i would always waste it.
"thanks ama. i'll eat it on my way! i gotta go now." i say grabbing the plate, making my way to my car.

i stuck a piece of gum in my mouth. leaving the plate on my seat. i pulled over and gave it to a homeless person, if i wouldn't eat it, they would. while i was pulled over, i stopped at a corner store. i picked up a diet pepsi, a sugar free monster, and baked hot cheetos. i got this once a week. i made sure to eat at lunch, even if it wasn't a lot.

i made it to school. while parking my car i saw a group of 3 boys. everyone knew them. diego, joão, and kevin. i didn't know much about them, just that everyone wanted to get with them, and all three of them played football. according to literally everyone they were the three best on our schools team, and the club they played for. they didn't interest me as much as everyone else. no one really did, i loved to be alone.

i walked out of my car, grabbing my things, putting my earbuds in. while walking to my first period, i heard the same two girls. i never bothered to learn their names, seems like they loved mine though. it was always in their mouths.
"there she is! long sleeve in this weather? gosh she's so weird" one says
"yeah ugly too" the other says laughing
"fuck off" i say rolling my eyes, walking away. they just keep pointing and laughing. i've learned to just keep my mouth shut with things like this. i took their words to heart though. but i payed attention silently and i kept quiet, i wouldn't wanna make a scene, right?

during my 4th period, i heard whispering behind me. i looked back, and saw those 3 boys. one was pointing at me. it was the one with shorter hair, he was also moreno. i never learned their names, nor did i want to. i'm sure they were talking about me, but i didn't care. i just kept doing my work, the whispering continued. i just let them talk. i couldnt care less.

it was now lunch. i sat in the halls of a random building, putting a new piece of gum in my mouth, drinking the diet coke from the morning. i had my earbuds in and was scrolling on my phone. until, i saw the boys again. i know we went to the same school but damn. i've been seeing them everywhere. i just choose to ignore them until the one with fluffier hair comes up to me.
"heyy. whats youre name? i dont think ive seen you around, none of us have." he says pointing around at the other two.
"y/n. we have history together. all of us" i reply
"oh my bad well i'm joão, that's kevin, and that's diego." he says smiling
"okayy?" i say questionably. i'm not sure why they were talking to me.but,  the one pointing to me earlier was diego. good to know i guess.
"can we go now? doesn't look like she wants to talk to people." diego says
i awkwardly smile. diego pushes them all away. i was glad he did that, i didn't feel like talking to people.

it was now the end of the day, i walked to my car. i saw the three of them again. i was kinda tired of it. as i was opening my door i saw them both shove diego, he almost bumped into me.
"watch out." i say dryly, i say opening my door.
"my fault" he says walking away. i ignored it, the same way i ignored everything. i drove back home. i blasted music while on my way back, i did it every day.

when i got home i made my usual small meal, as to not worry my mom. then i went upstairs to do homework. when i got up, i looked in the mirror. i always did. i just stood and stared. viewing every flaw i could find, picking myself apart. i stopped myself from looking any longer. i mean i had homework to do. while finishing up, i saw my history work. i instantly got reminded of the three boys. it was so weird how they just kept popping up. time after time. i never really saw them, nor did i expect to see them. but today was weird. i'm not sure why i even put any thought into them? i never cared. whatever. i wont care. i'll stop thinking about them.

a/n: aaayyy first chapter done 😛 i'm not sure how this book is gonna go but i hope you guys enjoy. have a great day/night, i love you 💗