its not a dream

chapter 8: professional help

Mike, defeated, turned and left, the door closing behind him with a resounding thud.

My mom, her face weary but determined, settled onto the edge of my bed. Her presence brought a sense of calm amidst the storm that swirled within me.

"You'll be okay, Julie, he won't hurt you again" she assured me, her smile filled with love and reassurance.

But confusion gnawed at my insides, refusing to be silenced.

"What do you mean again?" I asked, my voice trembling with uncertainty. The room fell silent, the weight of the unspoken hanging heavily in the air

My mom's gaze dropped, her fingers fidgeting nervously. It was then that she whispered, almost too softly for me to hear, "I found small drops of blood in your bedsheets."

My heart skipped a beat, and a surge of disbelief coursed through my veins. "I saw the way Mike was looking at you," she continued, her voice barely audible. "So I put two and two together." My mind reeled, struggling to comprehend the gravity of her words.

"No, Mom," I hissed, my voice trembling with frustration. "Mike didn't take my virginity!" The accusation hung in the air, the tension between us palpable. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with a mix of confusion and unwavering support.

"You don't have to lie to me," she whispered, her voice filled with love and understanding. "I'll always be on your side, no matter what." A soft smile graced her lips, but it failed to dispel the confusion that swirled within me.

"You've got it all wrong, Mom," I say, my voice trembling with a mixture of fear and frustration.

"Was it Zach?" she asks, her voice filled with concern. The mere mention of his name sends waves of nausea crashing through me.

"No!" I shout, my voice cracking with the weight of my denial.

"Then who was it?" she presses, her tone now tinged with worry. I take a deep breath, summoning every ounce of courage I have left.

"It was my boyfriend," I answer, my voice barely above a whisper. Silence hangs heavy in the air as my mother raises an eyebrow, her eyes searching for the truth. She leans in closer, desperate for more details.

"Where is he?" she asks, her voice filled with a mix of concern and anger. I can't bring myself to meet her gaze as I respond.

"I don't know," I whisper, feeling a knot form in my throat. My mother's eyes narrow with a mix of confusion and frustration.

"Well, what's his name?" she demands, her voice filled with a sense of urgency. I remain silent, my mind clouded with confusion and fear. I don't know his name, I can't remember...

"What does he look like?" she persists, her voice now laced with worry and desperation. I can't answer her question either. He looked different every time, a chameleon hiding behind different faces...

"Julie, don't cover for him," my mother says, her voice filled with determination. She reaches out and takes hold of my trembling hands, but I pull away, unable to bear the weight of her accusation. "Mike raped you"

"No, he did not!" I shout, my voice piercing through the room. "My boyfriend did! He took my virginity! And I let him! If you loved me or cared about me, you'll know that!" Tears stream down my face as I desperately try to convey the pain and betrayal I feel.

Zach opens the door, his brown eyebrows furrowed with concern. He steps forward, wanting to offer an apology, but my mom interrupts him.

"Do you know anything about Julie having a boyfriend?" she asks him, her tone filled with disbelief.

"No," Zach stammers, his voice laced with confusion. "Why?"

My mom's eyes narrow as she looks at me, searching for the truth. "Julie, tell me the truth. I'm your mother, and I'll never judge you."

I bite my lip, feeling a mix of fear and defiance. "He's...he looks different each time...he's a vampire...a demon, a shadow," I confess, my voice trembling with both fear and love. "He talks to me...he loves me! And I love him!"

My mother's expression shifts from confusion to deep concern. She struggles to comprehend the reality I'm describing. "Um...it seems like you made up something to cope with your obvious trauma," she says hesitantly, trying to rationalize the situation.

I shake my head vehemently, tears still flowing down my face. I want her to understand, to believe me. This is my truth, no matter how fantastical it may sound.

"He's real, Mom!" I exclaimed, desperation evident in my voice. I anxiously pointed to the vivid, angry hickeys on my neck, evidence of his existence.

"He did this," I whispered, my voice trembling with a mixture of fear and conviction. Zach, always ready to interject with his supposed superior knowledge, wanted to speak out, acting as if he held all the answers.

"No, Julie," Zach interrupted, his voice laced with skepticism. "You got those from the party when the guys..." Before he could finish his sentence, I felt a surge of anger rising within me, drowning out his words.

"He's real!" I shouted, my voice cutting through the air like a thunderclap. Zach's expression twisted in disapproval, his frown deepening as he tried to dismiss my claims.

"Do you even realize how insane you sound?" he shouted in frustration. "I knew I should have never given you those drugs." The confusion in my mother's eyes mirrored her bewilderment as she turned to Zach for an explanation.

"Drugs?" she questioned, her voice laden with concern and disbelief.

"Yeah... yeah, I... gave her some," Zach hesitated, his words faltering. "Nice, you know, while she was having a hard time in school... but... I think she's... a bit... crazy." As Zach spoke, my mother's gaze shifted from him to me, her eyes reflecting the same worry and apprehension that had settled upon Zach's face.

They both looked at me, questioning my sanity, doubting my words.

"We're going to get you some help, baby girl," my mother whispered, her voice filled with both tenderness and determination. "Professional help."