Saturday's Master

Volume 1 - Chapter 3

Since elementary school, when I had a fight with a friend, I would get a fever and lay down, and in middle school, it was normal to have a fever every time during exams. My uncle, who made me medicine every year during the holidays, told me after I was outed that the captain should not be weak.

'That's why he's been needlessly sensitive like a girl ever since he was little.'

Fortunately, after serving in the army, I became much healthier. It may also be because of having to work part-time jobs tenaciously to earn rent and living expenses alone after returning to school. When I lay down sick, I immediately had nothing to eat. After becoming independent from my parents, I had no one to take care of me, and I didn't have the luxury to take a day off just because I was sick.

Like a lie, after the fever was cured, I realized. In the end, it was all foolishness. It wasn't just those who could hold on. The situation that had to be endured was the ability to endure.

But after my second Saturday with him, I returned home on Sunday morning with a fever of 39 degrees. Even though I hadn't eaten anything, I kept vomiting stomach juices, and then I wrapped myself in a blanket and lay on the bathroom floor. My body shuddered. As he said, the swelling in my buttocks had gone down a lot, but I couldn't lie down or sit down. I was afraid to look at my reddened buttocks, so I looked away when I changed my clothes, and I couldn't apply the ointment I had brought with me.

After a fever, my mother came to me in a dream after a long time. She touched my swollen forehead with the back of her cold, well-groomed hand.

'Mom.'

At his silent call,  mother pulled the blanket over my chin and smiled at my tired face. 'You can sleep more,' she said quietly. 'When you wake up, your fever will go down, you took the medicine. You have to rest well so you can wake up strong tomorrow... ' The gap between her whispering lips slowly widened. The black air quickly ate away at her face. My hurried outstretched arm penetrated mother's perforated face.

When he opened his eyes, his body was curled up on the cold bathroom floor. He rubbed his hot forehead on the floor and took a shaky breath. Darkness hung over the windows.

Swollen throat hurt. Tears welled up in his eyes and slowly trickled down to the floor.

Where did he think he was going? What have you been striving for? Perhaps what I was looking for was lost a long time ago and could never be found again, or maybe it was something that didn't exist in the first place. Now that I've come, I've come this far, I finally got the idea. Like a person who has finally arrived at the dead end that he has been waiting for from the beginning.

***

"What's wrong with your face?"

Was the third person asking that. Even Assistant Manager Kwon, who passed me by as if I was not there, asked with a curious look as soon as she entered the meeting room. I covered my mouth and smiled moderately.

"I'm a little sick over the weekend."

"Why is your voice like that again? If it hurts a lot, I take a break. Why did you come?"

"It's better than it looks, sorry."

The conference room was busy preparing for the morning meeting. Assistant Manager Park, who was frantically organizing scattered documents at the desk next to me, glanced at me as if he had heard the conversation.

He was about to say something, but he paused and stared into my face.

"Is your lip hurt? both?"

"ah... ."

He hurriedly covered his torn mouth with his hand.

"I just happened to... ."

The words got stuck in his throat and he couldn't come out any more. her face turned red. Fortunately, I lost interest quickly, so no more questions flew in.