Rainy Days - Haerin x Danielle

2. In my dreams

After meeting Danielle Marsh, Haerin's life was the same, or not. She learned, did her daily activities, and sometimes found herself staring blankly at the ceiling, filling every free time slot in her Google Calendar. She was aware that at this age, every comfort would come with regret and hardship.

Haerin gazed out of the window and suddenly recalled the jacket that Danielle was holding. It had been about a month; had Danielle forgotten about it?

Whether she admitted it or not, the truth was that Haerin was looking forward to seeing Danielle again. It was the first thing on her mind every morning when she woke up, the last thought before falling asleep, and sometimes even a presence in her dreams. Nothing was worse than sinking into an uncertain or imaginary future.

One of the things Haerin detested the most was waiting. She had trouble processing her emotions and thoughts, and waiting for something made her feel like she was just existing day in and day out, not truly alive. Waiting exacerbated her anxiety and insecurities.

Every time she looked at the jacket she had received from school, those small hopes seemed to be rekindled, waiting to reawaken and excite her heart. As time passed, she gradually began to forget that night. Or maybe not, as everything would come alive again, replaying in her mind like a movie whenever she thought about Danielle. Danielle's presence was everywhere, from billboards to social media posts. Haerin wondered about the reality of Danielle. What was the actual distance between her and Danielle, and why was she so desperate to see her again? Danielle seemed so close through screens, yet untouchably distant. These thoughts revisited Haerin from time to time.

1 year later

  After finishing work at the library, Haerin looked up at the clock, and it was 10:30 p.m. She packed up her things and prepared to head home.

As soon as she walked out of the library door, she shuddered. Haerin hadn't expected it to be so cold. Light rain had started outside, and the fact that she had forgotten to bring both her jacket and umbrella only made things worse. Contrary to the thought that she should hurry to get home, she walked slowly, burdened by heavy thoughts.

Whenever Haerin was in a bad mood, she tended to walk slowly. This time was no different. The rain was falling, and she missed Danielle.

Did a fan miss their idol? It seemed ridiculous to her. Haerin hoped to get home quickly and go to sleep to avoid dwelling on these nonsensical hopes. She and Danielle, existing in two completely different worlds, couldn't be more different. Haerin told herself that she should quit Netflix altogether to stop thinking about romantic love or Danielle Marsh. She convinced herself not to think too much about Danielle tonight. After all, Danielle wasn't even her bias. Her bias was Hanni Pham, whoever, at least not Danielle. Not Danielle, who kept her hopes and desires burning.

Haerin closed her eyes, feeling herself enveloped by a warm embrace. The person's body heat made her feel extremely comfortable, as if they were protecting her from both the rain and the chilly temperature. She didn't want to admit it, but it felt like Danielle.

   Opening her eyes, the surroundings were the same, with streetlights illuminating the area, and a light drizzle falling. Haerin blamed herself for not being able to imagine intimacy with anyone other than her idol, Danielle, even after all these years. Especially after their encounter, she wanted to prevent herself from dwelling on that feeling. She feared that she would be unable to let go of the hope of seeing Danielle again, but the pleasant sensation it brought kept tempting her.

Suddenly, something draped over her, like a jacket. The surroundings darkened all of a sudden. Someone had put a jacket on her and then almost vanished. It was very dark, and the only things she could discern were the figure, taller than her, and a very pleasant and familiar scent.

It must be Danielle.

Or was it not?

Had she missed Danielle to the point of madness?

As she took a closer look at the jacket, she realized it was from Sungkungkwan University. At least it didn't seem as ominous as the plain black leather jackets worn by assassins in movies. Haerin put on the jacket, and it fit her better, allowing her to get home faster and keep warm. She smiled for a few seconds but quickly regained her composure.

Her biggest fear was believing in something that wasn't real.