You Really Got A Hold On Me

Across the Universe

About a month had passed since what Abby and I decided to call "the incident", in other words the false alarm where I thought Paul might have been seeing another girl behind my back. John and Abby seemed to have put John's minor misdemeanour behind them and were getting along well. And as for Paul and I, I couldn't stop myself feeling disbelief every time we were together but I guess I had accepted that I would always feel like that so long as I was with Paul.

His gentlemanly charm never ceased to amaze me and I often felt that I lacked something alongside him, that he would have been better matched with someone more attractive like, I don't know, Bethany Stewart - although God forbid that pairing would ever happen. That being said, Paul and I got on like a house on fire. We understood each other and our attraction wasn't purely a physical one in that I didn't just like Paul because he was unfathomably good-looking - although that was a bonus - we seemed to connect on a different kind of level. My sarcasm was balanced out by his affection, his optimism shone brighter with my natural supportive nature. Our emotional connection only strengthened the longer we spent time with one another. I could sense his mood without asking and he never failed to surprise me constantly.

Abby and I had often talked about what our "dream guy" would be like, this was before we had met John and Paul, and after I listened to Abby say she would like a guy who was witty, clever, gorgeous and a risk taker, she always asked me what I wanted. And I would say, I just want to be happy.

But I never imagined I would be this happy, as happy as I was with Paul. Granted it was my first proper relationship, I know, sue me I got my first boyfriend when I was 17, and I didn't have anything to compare it to, somehow I didn't believe anything else would come close. I was aware that Paul had had previous girlfriends but he swore he had never felt about anyone the way he felt about me. He told me about how all the other girls just seemed silly and all they wanted was a quickie, he had said "these days such a kind girl, seems so hard to find". Whilst I had brushed off his compliments I was glowing inside. I loved the girl Paul saw me as - mature yet still cute somehow.

We had talked about these kinds of things on afternoons we had spent alone together. I had been to his house quite a few times now yet he was still to come to mine. We had arranged a date a couple of weeks ago so Paul could come round for tea but Dad had been called into work at the last minute and the next two times Paul had band practice that the boys called in suddenly so tea had been put on hold temporarily. But we had agreed that this Thursday was good, Dad would be home and Paul told John and the others that he wouldn't be available for practice, no matter the circumstances.

Speaking of the band, the boys had had a few shows here and there, at school dances, bars and youth clubs, that sort of thing. Nothing major yet but I supported Paul 100%, I believed in him and the band. They had real talent and were obviously miles better than any of the other groups around so I figured it would only be a matter of time until someone discovered them. Whilst that idea excited me as I knew it was Paul's dream to make it big, I also didn't want to lose him to the spotlight's greedy arms. Abby and I had gone to a few of their shows, the ones that weren't on school nights as our parents had a thing about that, and every time it seemed different. I never felt like I got tired of listening to Paul's voice in particular. Even if I had heard the song a hundred times before, every time felt like the first time. I tried to feel less self conscious about dancing with each show, which was easier said than done for me, but when someone is around Abby they can't really sit still. She always took my hand and made me dance with her, twirling around laughing which made me laugh inevitably. Paul would always catch my eye throughout the show and throw me his signature wink which still made me feel weak at the knees to this day. And John, being John, would wolf whistle at Abby and she would shake her head at him, blushing but smiling from ear to ear.