Golden Luckenbooth

Sixteen

We are awakened by a buzzer, and I rub my eyes, disoriented. Harry disentangles himself from me, smiling shyly as he rises from the bed and pads to the bedroom door.

"Just wait here, Anna. I'll bring Dr. Fletcher up." With that, my baby's daddy disappears, and within a few moments, I hear the main door open and voices in the foyer. For a second time, the door opens and closes briefly, and I patiently wait, knowing what the results of all of these medical assessments will be. There's no suspense for me.

Harry and I aren't a couple, yet I'm relieved that we've agreed so easily to a decision about our tiny bean. Now we just have to forge our future.

Shit. This means he'll be in my life forever. Not just a month. I hadn't considered that having his child would mean forever. I mean, sure, it was apparent that a child was a lifelong commitment, but that commitment was to the child itself. Now I have to face the fact that the child's father will always have a presence in my world. We'll have to navigate birthdays and holidays and school. Harry's future girlfriends and wife will be part of my life. His future children will be my child's half-siblings.

There's no turning back.

Unless I change my mind about keeping it.

The pea in my pod seems to shrink away in fear from the thought in my brain.

Downstairs, the door opens and closes a third time, followed by Harry's soft steps and another person's hard-soled shoes stomping on the stairs.

My former cool disappears, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Although I know there are no other possibilities, I start to worry that the baby isn't Harry's. Maybe I'm not actually preggers. Perhaps the bun in my oven is a pseudocyesis like Tawny the cat. What if I imagined all of the symptoms and Blair didn't want to hurt my feelings by correcting me? Maybe the whole thing is a bad practical joke. The man on the stairs with Harry is going to find out my lie. Then Harry will kick me out of his home, and I'll never be allowed to see him again.

"Anna?" Harry's voice is barely above a whisper, and I open my eyes to his glorious face. He's added a hair clip to keep his bangs on top of his head, and the facial hair no longer startles me. The dimple is there but not shining brightly this afternoon. "This is David. Dr. Fletcher."

"Hi." I am suddenly shy which is not my usual state by anyone's measure.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Anna. Just call me David." His smile puts me at ease, and I can readily understand why this private doctor thing is so powerful. I wonder briefly if I could become an on-demand private vet, but I love my patients and the life I've created in my small town. I sit up on the side of the bed, blinking at the doctor. He grabs a chair from a vanity in the corner of the room and sits on it facing me.

"I'll just leave you two alone..." Harry says, starting to back out of the room.

"No, sir." My voice squeaks, and I have to clear it and repeat my thoughts. "Harry, you need to stay. Please."

His hand on the doorknob, he looks between me and the doctor. "Anna – I didn't bring him here for me. I already told you –"

"I know," I interrupt, "You could develop doubts at any moment, and I don't want that for you."

"Anna –"

"Besides," I swallow, saying the words that will assure his continued presence, "I'm scared."

Shock registers on his face. "Of what?"

"In case it escaped your notice, I'm having your baby. I came to you because I don't want to do any of this alone."

That muscle in his jaw does that thing again, and I wonder what I've said to piss him off this time. He merely nods, releases the door handle, and crosses the room to sit on the opposite edge of the bed.