Golden Luckenbooth

Seventeen

I blink. "Oh. I didn't say it because I expected you to take care of it, Harry. It's just that... well, sex has been on my mind quite a bit lately."

"You and I never had problems in that arena." His smirk matches mine, and I feel a rush of silken fluid to my core.

"That damn dimple is the reason I'm in this condition in the first place." Pointing an accusatory finger at said dimple, I try to smile to indicate that I'm not really angry, but tears well up instead. "Shit." Wiping my cheeks before smacking my forehead with my palm, I growl. "Stupid body. Flooding one area with moisture doesn't mean you have to flood the whole body. Jesus. Get it together."

"Anna?" His voice is gentle, and I can't help but lift my eyes to his gaze. "Are you sorry... um – about this?" The gesture takes in my entire body, but I know what he means, and the tears stream down my face in earnest, causing alarm to appear on his face. "Don't cry. It's okay. We don't have to go this route if it's not what you want..."

When I hold up my hand in the universal stop sign, he pauses, which gives me time to catch my breath. "Harry, do not let this emotional outburst mean anything other than I'm hormonal." Standing to face him, I run my hand over his bristly face. "Do I regret doing the deed that got me in this condition? Absolutely not. The month we spent together in Scotland is seared in my memory as some of the happiest days and nights ever. Do I regret that my birth control wasn't effective? Honestly? Sometimes. When I'm scared and try to think too far into the future, I freak myself out. So I try to stay right here in the moment and figure out the next step. That makes it less scary."

His face clouds, and I watch as Mr. Popstar-Turned-Future-Daddy breaks down, draping his arms around me as he sobs into my shoulder. I do the only thing I can – ineffectually rubbing my hands on his back to comfort and reassure him.

What he's feeling is familiar to me, so I encourage him to release it all. The fear. The overwhelm. The emotions of seeing a living thing you created – albeit on a screen. It's a lot for me, and I've known about our little bean for weeks while he's just found out this morning. When he starts to sniffle, his breathing slowing, I bury my hands in his hair, soothing him as best I can with my words while I stroke his curly locks.

"It's okay to be emotional," I murmur, "We'll figure it all out." I repeat the words multiple times, hoping they are what he needs to hear right now.

When he picks up his head and swipes at his face with his arm, I release him and step back.

"Some seduction, eh?" He grins, and the contrast with his tear-stained face is endearing.

As if I needed him to be more endearing.

"Hey," I whisper as I place my hands on his cheeks and force him to make eye contact with me, "you just got some big news. It's okay to let it sink in."

Nodding, he places his forehead on mine and draws in a deep breath. "I know it's still early, but I really do want to tell our families – mostly because I think we could both use the support right now. You're close with your dad like I am with my mum, and I'm confident they can help keep us moving forward, considering the right questions, you know?"

Biting my lip, I consider his words. He's right. Shit. I should tell him. "Yes. That makes sense. I just –" Stepping back, I release us from the intimacy of physical proximity but the emotional intimacy lingers. Twisting away from him, I focus my gaze on the window although I can't see past the gauzy curtains that separate us from the outside world. There's no way I can say these words to his face. "Opening up our – relationship – to anyone else feels sordid. Like it's going to taint our time together. We had such a perfectly lovely time with neither of us expecting or asking for more. It was pure." Placing my hand on my stomach, I sigh. "From the outside, it doesn't look or sound anything like what we shared. It just sounds like two people fucking for fun without caring about the consequences."