Golden Luckenbooth

Fifty-Seven

TRIGGER WARNING: The first half of this chapter involves the death of a pet. If you prefer to skip this part, scroll down to the dividing line.

When I awaken, it's to Harry's lips on my forehead as he settles on the bed next to me. "Babe?" Opening my eyes, I see my sweet Piper's face where Harry must have placed her, and she licks me gently. My eyes immediately well up, and I feel the truth like a punch in the stomach.

"It's time," I croak, the knot tightening in my stomach. All week, I'd rehearsed this moment in my head, each iteration failing to quell the dread that coiled within me.

Harry, sensing the storm brewing beneath my calm facade, offers a silent nod of confirmation – maybe he's agreeing with my words or simply my tone. Either way, I appreciate his support.

"I don't want it to be time," I whisper.

"I know." His voice is soft, and he waits patiently for my next words.

Which won't come to me. Oh, I know what to do about the situation. I've done it way too many times with other people's pets. Despite the tears in my eyes, a calmness has settled over me. My stomach, which has been churning for days, has resolved itself to the inevitable and is in a conciliatory mood. Sitting up, I remove the towel and pull on a pair of leggings and a maternity shirt that has a fake zipper down the middle with a baby's head poking out. It's meant to be cute, and I am hopeful that it will lift my spirits after I do the unfathomable.

"Do you want me to call anyone? Arran? Blair? Your parents?"

"No," I shake my head. "I'm going to do it myself. Just you, me, Piper, and Shortbread. And the bairn of course." My hand rubs over my belly, and I thrust my emotions deep into the back of my mind. There will be time to feel later. When it's done. "This is a family show..." Then I pause dramatically and half grin, "...or is it?"

My boyfriend nods, although I see the spark of happiness in his eyes at my lame joke. "I'll carry her to the clinic," Harry offers, and I'm grateful to him for being here for me, for Piper, and for Shortbread.

"I'm sorry I was such an ogre earlier..."

"Shush," he murmurs, preceding me down the stairs, precious cargo in his arms. "You've had a lot on your mind lately."

True.

"When you and I...I mean, when you found out I was pregnant...When you agreed to come stay here with me..." Biting my lip, I trail behind him. "...did you have any clue that you'd have to deal with all of this?"

"Anna..." Harry tenderly looks over his shoulder at me upon reaching the bottom step, his face soft and his eyes gentle, "Did I know every detail of what our relationship would entail? No, but I'm in this relationship for the whole thing: good, bad, and ugly."

My heart squeezes. So far, he's made all of the sacrifices in our relationship. He's given up living and rehearsing in London for this tour. He moved his entire operation to the middle of the Scottish lowlands with nary a complaint. He's prepared meal after meal for me, hired a bodyguard on my behalf, taken me to countless doctor's appointments, treated me with extreme deference and care, and he's asked for nothing in return.

Except he's going to leave for tour nearly as soon as the baby arrives. If not before. I push aside the intrusive thoughts, determined to live in the present and force the future to stay out there in the nebulous zone of possibilities and probabilities.

Opening the door to the clinic, I gesture for Harry to enter. "The first exam room, please." My throat, parched from the tears streaming down my cheeks, releases the words reluctantly, the rasp indicative of my emotional state. Harry nods, moving down the hall ahead of me.