This Is What Dreams Are Made Of: Merder

Life Changes

Meredith's POV:

"We gotta talk." 3 simple words that would change our lives forever.

"So, I honestly have no idea how to tell you guys this.. it's nothing that I would've ever expected to happened to you guys, of all people..."

"Arizona, just say it." I said as I grabbed a hold of Derek's hand and had a death grip on it.

"When we did the ultrasound the other day, I noticed that something was off, so I took a picture and sent it off to the OB that works with the hospital, and she confirmed what I suspected.."

"Just spit it out already please, I need to know."

"Anencephaly. I am so sorry guys."

"I'm a freakin neurosurgeon who is having a kid who is missing part of their brain? Are you kidding me?" Derek asked as I was sitting there in complete silence. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I know, I wish I was kidding. I hate to have to tell you guys this, but you guys know your your options, let me know what you decide, take as long as you need." Arizona said before leaving us in the room alone.

Derek's POV:

The second Arizona left the room, Meredith broke down, and it killed me to see her like that. She clutched onto my shirt, and quickly filled up the top of my shirt with her tears. I tried to be strong for her, I had to be, which wasn't easy, at all.

"Derek..." I heard her say quietly.

"It's over isn't it?" She asked me as she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and just looking into them made me want to cry.

I nodded, and she immediately collapsed in my arms, and I buried my face in her hair, trying to keep the rage, anger and tears back. I had to stay strong for her, she was fragile and devastated and needed someone to be there for her.

"Please don't ask me to decide right now, please I can't do it."

"I know. Arizona said we have as much time as we need to decide on this."

Nothing was said after that, we sat in the room, by ourselves for a while. Meredith cried on my shoulder for about an hour, before sitting up and saying she wanted to go home which is exactly what we did.

We got home and she went and laid on the bed, while I fed and put the kids to bed. I laid on the couch, and sat thinking about everything, and what all had happened today.

Meredith's POV:

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't talk. I just sat there.

Text to: Alex Karev

"Can you come over and talk for a little. I need someone."

I needed someone other than Derek to talk to about this. Someone who wasn't going through this with me.

Text from: Alex Karev

"Be over in a little."

It was nice living so close to Alex, and my old house. If we ever needed something he was just a phone call away and a 10 minute drive.

Within 10 minutes he was at the house, walking into the master bedroom which I was sitting on the bed in.

"Hey.. what's wrong?" He asked as he sat next to me on the bed.

Before I could even answer him, I just looked and him and he instantly knew something was up.

"Meredith, if you don't tell me whats wrong I can't help you."

"That's the thing, you can't help me. No one can help me."

"Well then, tell me what's wrong and I can just be here."

"Anencephaly, that's what's wrong." The look in Alex's eyes broke my heart more than it already was. It was like he was being told his own child was diagnosed with it.

"Oh my god, Mer I am so sorry."

"Don't be, it's nobody else's fault but mine. I should've took more Folic Acid.. I should've. Alex i'm the reason the baby is like this. This baby could've been happy and healthy if I wasn't just so stupid."

"Hey, hey, you're not stupid. Nothing is your fault. You know this starts during early development, and you didn't know you were pregnant when this all started. Don't blame yourself Mer."

"I will blame myself until the end of time Alex. Then Arizona was like "You have to make a decision, and let me know what you decide." and I don't know what to decide and I really don't want to ask Derek right now.. I know it's better to get done with it sooner rather than later, but I just can't wrap my head around that."

"Give it a day, or 2 and then ask him how he feels. He probably wants the same thing you do."

"Mhm. Thanks." I said before hugging Alex and burying my face in his shoulder.

"You're welcome. I am so sorry Meredith. I'm always around if you need anything." He said hugging me back.

We stayed and talked about life stuff for a little while, before he left. Pretty much instantly after Alex left Derek appeared.

"Hey." He said as he walked in the room and laid on the bed where Alex had been sitting.

"Hi." I said as I placed my head on his chest and he put his arm around me.

"Let's get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning about everything." He said to me, running his fingers through my hair.

"Okay." I said back.

AN: Like I said in the last chapter, there will be happiness for merder. I promise. I needed something to spice this story up a little bit and this was just what I needed. I got the idea from a fanfic I read ages ago, and i'm putting my own twist on it just like I do everything I write about. A new updated should be posted shortly after this one.