Forbidden Love || Tom Kaulitz

Bree

I laid curled up in a ball, unknowingly letting a few more tears fall before I fell asleep.

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Ashley's POV –

I woke up to the sun glaring in through the curtains. I rolled over to face the wall, closing my eyes once again, but I couldn't fall back asleep. I continued to stare at the bare wall, letting my thoughts consume me. I don't know what I'm meant to do. I groaned and slowly picked myself up off the bed. I opened the door, leaving the room. The cold tiles froze my bare feet. I turned the corner to see Bill sitting on the couch watching tv. He glanced over to me, our eyes locking for a split second before I looked away and kept walking. I couldn't bring myself to speak to him.

I pulled my messy hair into a bun as I walked into the kitchen. I made my way over to the cupboard and opened it, searching for some sort of alcohol but there was none to be seen. I knew for a fact there was plenty of alcohol left when I was here last, so why was it empty? I quicky turned to Bill. He sat on the couch staring at me, watching my every move. I groaned and slammed the cupboard door shut. He must've hidden it from me. I opened the fridge next to me, grabbing a bottle of water then stomped back to the room.

I slammed the door shut behind me and fell onto the bed once again. I needed a drink. All I wanted was for my fears and thoughts to go away. I needed to escape from reality.

Nights here by myself felt harder than with Tom. Being alone allowed me to get in my own head, but with Tom I had no time to overthink. I know that the time will always pass, but it's not easy. When I feel as though things couldn't get any worse, they always do. Each day is a different story.

I try to push my thoughts and think of the better, but I always end up spiralling. I always wonder, what life would be like If Melissa didn't say those things. If I didn't kick her out of the car. If me and Tom never met. If we never collided in this lifetime. Who would I be if I didn't end up in this situation?

I tried to push my thoughts away but being in this silent dark room alone, left my mind no other option. I thought about my family and my life back home. I thought moving would be an amazing new experience, but it changed me for the worse. All I wanted was to be home. I missed my mother and my father, even though they put me through so much shit.

I was happy leaving them behind, but as soon as I fell into Chases hands, I knew I had taken being with them for granted. I have been fending for myself ever since being here. I regret ignoring them and refusing to be contact with them ever again. I just want to be in their arms again.

I missed my little sister Aubrey the most. She was my whole world. Growing up we only had each other, so I promised to keep in contact with her when I left, but that has changed. I hoped she had a better life than me at home. I had so much guilt for leaving her alone, but she is getting older and can now make her own decisions. All I want is to be reunited with her. I miss sitting and laughing all night with her. I began to sob harder as I realised, I had abandoned her. I had left her stranded with our manipulative and self-absorbed parents. I cannot imagine how she felt being left. It was only me and her. We had a bond like no other.

I wanted to see her and get in contact with her once again. I didn't want to leave this earth without saying goodbye. I couldn't bring myself to leave her once again. I couldn't do that to her. I needed to stay alive and healthy to see her again. I needed to find a phone and get back in contact with her. I just want to hear her voice again, even if that's the last thing I do.

I laid in the bed curled up, regretting all my decisions. My eyes began to feel puffy, and I could barely open them anymore. I shut them and held my stomach, crying myself to sleep.

Toms POV –

I got up from my bed leaving Katya who was now asleep. I opened the door gently before walking downstairs to the living room. I sat down on the couch next to Bill before I turned to him, he picked up the remote and turned the tv off.

"I have an idea" I spoke. He looked at me with a wary look.

"What?" he said unconfidently.

"You've seen Ashley an- "I started.

"No, I don't want to hear it Tom" he cut me off. "You've already put her through so much shit. I really can't be bothered hearing it" he added.

"But what's the point in putting us at risk when we could ju- "I started.

"Tom, do whatever the fuck you want, I'm not having any part of it" he said as he raised his arms.

I let out a sly laugh as I got up from the couch. I walked closer to the hallway and opened the door to Ashley's room. I watched as she slept soundly. I walked closer to her to see her pillow stained with tears. I watched over her for a moment before leaving. I shut the door behind me as I made my way back past Bill who watched in disgust. I grinned at him before walking up the stairs back to my room. 

I walked into my room and Katya latched onto me. I grinned and pulled her close. I loved how she bowed down to me and did whatever I told her, but I miss the thrill and excitement with Ashely. I've been waiting for her to do something. I want her to fight for my attention, but it hasn't happened. I want her to want me as much as I want her. I have a new plan for her though, I just needed to wait for the perfect moment to tell her.