Silence in the Storm

Shortsightedness.

I couldn't sleep much. I was tired, and I knew my drowsiness would hinder any attempt of trying to get back to work.
I couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night; whenever I blinked, Ghost's lustful gaze was the only image flashing in the back of my mind. Maláka...!

I tried to get out of the bed, but Johnny wrapped his heavy arms around my waist and pulled me closer to his sleepy self. My failed attempts to get up only stirred him up.

- ...Where do ye think ye going, Mo' Leannan...?

- I need to use the bathroom, love...

- Can you hold a wee bit longer...? - He nuzzled my nape, it tickled.

- I'm too old to be wetting the bed. - I chuckled.

- Okay... I'll let ye go. - he jeered, stretching himself. - But come back to me, will ya?

I chuckled in amusement to his funny neediness and dragged myself out of the bed. As I was washing my hands after using the toilet, I glanced at the mirror, and I felt like crap. The guilt was eating me alive; my heart sank down to my stomach, I was feeling sick and disgusted with myself. How could I be so weak willed? Why did I allow myself to surrender to such horrid flaw as cheating...?
I felt a lump grow and burn in my throat. My nostrils were flaring, and my nose suddenly got feverish; I wanted to cry. Tears started to pool over my eyes, clouding my sight. I covered my mouth as I couldn't keep myself together anymore and an uncontrollable sobbing happened.
Johnny didn't deserve to be betrayed, and yet here I was, being consumed by an impulsive mistake that now lives rent free in my head. I flinched when I heard knocks on the bathroom door.

- Mo' Leannan...? You alright there?

- I...! - stutter invaded my voice. - I'm okay, love...! I'll be right out...

- Wait... Something's off. Open the door, Mo' Leannan.

- Give me a minute, Johnny... Please. - I was trying to dodge his worries.

- Come on, open the door... I wanna help ye.

- I don't want to ask you again, Johnny... Leave me be, please.

- ...Okay. I won't insist. I'm sorry.

I heard his steps getting distant from the door, and an uncomfortable silence ensued. I felt like I was being a disappointment in this relationship that barely begun... Such torment that I couldn't ignore any longer.
I got out of the bathroom, dreading the moment of looking into Johnny's eyes. I sheepishly walked towards the bed and sat on the edge with my back turned to him. I was feeling a pit forming in my stomach; a fear that was growing within me. Johnny sneaked his way and hugged me from behind, wrapping his strong arms around my waist.

- ...How ye feeling? - His rusky voice reverberated in my ear.

- Like trash. Too much in my mind... It finally dawned on me what happened.

- That's rough, Mo'Leannan... I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I wish I could've eased your pain.

- Don't be. I just need to go to therapy for a while and focus on work.

- Are ye thinking about returning to work?

- Yes. - I leaned back, feeling his heartbeat on my spine. - If I don't occupy my head, I will go insane. I love my job way too much to lose everything over mental health issues.

- You love your job more than me? - he joked, pretending to be offended.

- I do love you, Johnny... - I chuckled, a bit amused. - But my job is just as important.