Cube smp oneshots

Kiani

-=+=- will -=+=-

I stared at his contact, Jordan's. Jordan, The one that left me when I was in need, even though he played that he cared for me. I remember that day so so fucking clearly, only that I wished I didn't....

Trigger warning!

-=+=- flashback -=+=-
Jordan was gone, went out for grocery shopping. Oh, Jordan.... I smiled, just thinking of my Seattle boy. We've been dating for about four months, four amazing months might I add!! I was on cloud 9! But, of course, humans can't walk on clouds, we'd just fall through. And that's what was happening now.... Falling. The real world is crashing back down on me.... The sadness, despise, hatred, bitterness.....

I clutched my head, as the voices whispered painful words to me, but I couldn't block them out....
"You know, he doesn't actually love you...." One whispered "it's only pity!" It cackled.
"You wonder why you have no friends, but have you ever met yourself? Fucking disgusting annoying bitch!" One spat.
"Of course nobody loves you!! " one chuckled "you don't even love yourself!"
They kept on coming, getting worse and worse, louder and louder..... But I knew how to stop them. I went over to my drawer, that hasn't been touched in months, opening it and rummaging through it. I reached to the far back, picking up my old friend. I stared down at my dulling razor, turning it in my fingers. I delicately put it to my wrist, sucking in a breath and dragging as hard as I could.
Deep.....
I looked at the whiteness as it slowly filled with crimson liquid, pooling up, toppling over my arm dripping down. It hurt at first, but the more I sliced, the more the adrenaline pumped, the more it buzzed... Finally, the demons silenced, but that's when I realized exactly what I did.... I looked down at my once pale arm, adorned with trickling red everywhere.

'Fuck...' I thought 'I did it again' I went out of my room, heading towards the bathroom. That's when I heard the front door open, and in walked bayani. He was holding bags, but once he saw my bloody mess, he dropped them, rushing over to me.
"Oh my god, what happened?!" He screamed, gently grabbing my arm, examining it. I gulped, shaking.
"I did it...." I whispered, looking shamefully at the carpeted floor, red droplets soaking into it. I felt bayani let go, taking steps back.
"What...?" He asked breathlessly. I sighed, looking up painfully.
"I really really hate myself, I want to die, but yet I'm not ready to give up.... The voices were telling me horrible things! The only way to silence them, was to do this!! I wanted to feel better!!" I yelled, breaking down crying. I looked at bayani, hoping for some comfort, to only see pure fear and horror in his face, even a hint of disgust. He slowly started backing away, shaking his head in disbelief.
"This-this is all so fucked up!" He yelled, quickly heading for the door. "You're fucked up!" Then, he ran out the door, slamming it. I could hear his heavy pounding of his footsteps as he left. I stared, blinking at the door.
Did-did that really just happen?? I slowly started processing what happened, as I made my way to the bathroom.
I washed my arm, cleaning it and wrapping it up properly.
'So..... Bayani and I are over....' I slowly thought. I started chuckling, then laughing, then full out uncontrollable cackling. There was nothing funny about the situation, but sometimes laughing is easier than crying.... So that's what I did. I felt my sanity slip away in that moment...

-=+=- end of flashback -=+=-

It's been a year since then.... I've been truly trying to fight, but I just can't anymore. I only had one other friend before bayani.... His name was Devon. He was there for me after the whole incident. Devon, he..... He got into a car crash last week... Now, I'm all alone. You know, I remember how bayani said that we'd be together forever, and how he'll always love me....
I opened his contact, quickly texting him. Then, I went over to the chair, standing on it. I wrapped the noose around my neck.
"Goodbye..." I whispered, kicking the chair out. I felt the rope rub my neck, giving a brush burn. I choked and gagged, my body jerking, scratching at the noose. I looked at a picture on my desk. It was of bayani and I, at a small park, smiling like we were the happiest people ever.... And at that time, we were. The edges of my eyes went black, then so did everything....

-=+=- Jordan -=+=-
I yawned, stretching. My phone on the nightstand flashed, notifying me that I got a message.
"What time is it?" I mumbled, glancing at the clock.
4:32 am
Who the hell is texting me this early?! I slowly moved, unwrapping Ryan's arm from around me. I slowly got up, trying not to wake up my lovely boyfriend. I grabbed my phone seeing a number.
412-555-2859
'Who??' I thought. I unlocked my phone, going to the message

I guess I won the I love you more game.... Goodbye, forever.

I frowned at the screen, thinking of who this possibly could of been. I shrugged, deleting it. Must be wrong number! I sighed, snuggling back into Ryan, falling into a deep slumber.

I just wanted to show how some people love someone so so much, but the other person can easily forget about them.... Sad really.....