Late Nights.

Ch.13 ~ Forgotten.

I don't know how this could be. I was laying in his arms for no particular reason and staring at the ceiling. Why am I here? I'm dead. I shouldn't be here anymore. He doesn't know. That hurts. "Am I supposed to be here?" He chuckled heartily as he lay on his back.
"Do you think I'm supposed to have a gorgeous girl living in my room?" He replied cheekily. I sighed and smiled weakly.
"Suppose not, but I'm not technically living here. I live down the road, remember?" He smiled awkwardly as my enthusiasm lacked.
"It was a joke Vi, don't freak." I sighed heavily as I lay on my back, his arm laying around my shoulders.
"I know, sorry. I guess I'm just not in a good mood." His face showed a look of worry. He sat up, pulling his arm out from under me, and looked directly at me.
"You've been strange lately, you okay? Am I doing something wrong? Am I a shitty boyfriend? You know I haven't done this before." I too sat up and shook my head gently.
"No, you're a great boyfriend," which was true "I'm just worried that we're spending too much time together." His worried face twitched slightly.
"I'm smothering you?" He asked awfully concerned. I shook my head roughly this time and rested my hand on his shoulder.
"No, it's not you. I just don't know if it's healthy to be spending so much time in the house. I mean, you must have a social life besides me." His face softened and he looked down shamefully.
"I haven't had much time for meeting friends between homework, unpacking and spending time with you." I sighed.
"See what I mean? You need people, people to notice you and how amazing you are. You need people to notice when things are up and when you're not around." He groaned slightly.
"But that's why I have you, you're always around and you're everything I need." I looked down disappointedly, he needs to be reliant on real people, not me.
"Go outside, go and buy a coffee or something, I'll always be here when you need me but I need you to have a life that doesn't include me too, what happens when one of us isn't around? We can't be lonely, lonely sucks ass." He chuckled and his smile returned, not as bright but it was still there.
"I suppose so, promise you'll be here when I'm home?" I smiled softly.
"Of course dingbat." He chuckled and we lay back down.
"You really need to work on your nicknames, ass wipe." I chuckled heartily, relief washing over my body.
"Original."
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I sat alone in the attic. Not even Beau wanted to see me. Seems I have less friends than I thought. "Why don't any of you try and talk to me?" I heard a heavy sigh behind me as dry tears sat on my cheeks.
"Oh Vi, what have you become?" I looked up to see my mother. Her soft smile shining over me, her kind eyes glowing above me, her fiery red hair flowing down to me. Her hand rested on my shoulder as I knelt on the ground.
"How's the baby." I said sourly. She tutted and sat down beside me.
"He's fine Vi, the better question being how are you?" I looked down in shame.
"I am so stupid Mom, I just," I sniffled as the tears well again in my eyes, "I ruined everything." She soothingly rubbed my back. It was nice to have my mothers presence again. I hadn't seen her for a while.
"You haven't ruined anything Violet, he likes you, quite a lot actually. Nothing's going to ruin that. Keep doing what you're doing." I heaved in a deep breathe and wiped my eyes.
"What if the house takes him Mom? What if he ends up like me? What if I make him like me?" She shushes me and pulls my head to her chest.
"Calm down Vi, nothing's going to hurt you anymore. All you have to do is encourage him to stay positive. Just be there for him when things get dark." I looked up at her, tears welling in my eyes.
"Aren't you going to say 'if they get dark'?" She sighed.
"Then I'd be lying." And with that I was left alone in the dark, dusty attic again. Maybe there isn't hope anymore. Maybe he was alone now. Maybe the darkness should just be forgotten. Just like I had.
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I walked quietly down from the attic and rounded the corner into the hallway. I managed to sneak past Brandon's parents room despite the mass of squeaky floorboards. The house was pitch black and none of the lights were on. I quietly yet quickly made my way to Brandon's room but stopped just before the door.
"Dude that's crazy! I love their music, they were all I listened to as a kid." Brandon whisper shouted. I saw light streaming from the crack in his door. I slowly pushed it open only enough that I could see and he wouldn't notice. I had hoped he was on the phone to one of his new friends but once I laid eyes on the sight in front of me I knew I was wrong. My heart sunk and it felt as if my insides were being torn out. There, on Brandon's bed where I usually sit, was Tate. Of course it had to be Tate. I cleared my throat at the door and both sets of eyes shot to me. One set looked ecstatic, another looked desperate and angry.
"Violet! I took your advice and look who I met, this is Tate, he lives around here too." My face soured slightly.
"Hi Violet, looking gorgeous today, as per usual." Tate flirted and winked my way.
"Tate." I spat. Brandon's face contorted into one of confusion.
"You guys know each other?" Tates face lit up with a smile.
"Oh yeah, I've known Vi for a long time, isn't that right?" I clenched my jaw and folded my arms. I knew this was going to come back and haunt me.
"Let's just say Tate and I don't get along." Tate chuckled at my remark. Brandon sat awkwardly unsure of how to handle the situation.
"Oh come on baby, we used to get along just fine." He purred. He disgusts me. How did we end up like this?
"Ugh, I can't even be here, sorry Brandon." I unfolded my arms and wound my way down the staircase as muttering began again in Brandon's bedroom. I rushed my way into the kitchen and sat at the island bar. It's been awhile since I've been in here.
"Miss Violet. Why, I haven't seen you in a long time. Why are you crying dear?" Moira stood in the kitchen with a steaming cup of tea looking as peaceful as ever. I smiled painfully towards her.
"Hey Moira, sorry, I tend to distance myself these days, and I'm not crying, just upset." Her face softened.
"Upset with who Dear? It isn't Tate is it? You two made a lovely pair." I cringed.
"It's not with Tate, it's with myself. I've screwed up everything with Brandon." Her face lit up in shock.
"Brandon? You mean the new owners son?" I nodded with my head on my hands.
"I know, why did I even talk to him in the first place? I've just screwed it up for everybody." She took a sip from her cup.
"What happened with Tate? Weren't you fixing things there?" I shook my head.
"I couldn't deal with the constant pain Moira, Brandon took that pain away but I've caused him too much of that pain." Moira shook her head.
"That won't do then will it?" I shook my head.
"I think I should tell him. Tell him the truth." Her face turned into one of despair. She opened her mouth to speak but before she could Brandon walked in, surprised scattered across his face.
"Uh, hi Moira, I see you've met Violet." She nodded sweetly.
"Yes Brandon I have. She's a lovely girl. I trust you'll take care of her, no matter what happens." He reached for a cup off of the shelf and filled it with water.
"Of course, I'd be stupid if I let a girl like that get away." Moira smiled contently and looked my way discreetly.
"See Violet, everything works out in the end." She placed her empty cup in the sink and began to walk out. "Its getting late, I'll head off to bed now. Be kind you two." We nodded and said our good nights. I sat at the island bar as Brandon gulped down his drink. Silence weaved through the air settling all around us.
"I'm sorry Violet. You two obviously didn't get along." My eyebrows flittered together.
"Moira and I get along perfect actually." He shook his head.
"I meant you and Tate." I looked at my hands and stayed silent. "I sent him home. He didn't have any right to talk to you like that." I looked up at him, despair in my eyes.
"He's caused me so much pain Brandon. He ruined my life." His face had a wave of confusion and worry flow across it.
"What do you mean? What did he do to you?" I looked him in the eyes as he rested on the opposite side of the island bar.
"I'm so sorry, I've ruined it all. I'm not anything that you think I am Brandon. God, you shouldn't even know what I am. Scratch that, you won't believe what I am." He looked at me with a face that I couldn't decipher. "God, Brandon. I'm Violet harmon." He smiled weirdly.
"I know that." I shook my head. He was so clueless, so innocent, so untarnished. And I had to change that. I had to ruin that. Now I have to face the punishments. "Why are you acting so strange Vi? Everything is fine, Tate is gone, I'm making friends, we're closer than ever, God Violet I fucking love you, what's so wrong?" I shook my head and bile rose in my throat. I held it back and took a deep unsteady breathe hoping it would calm my nerves. Nothing could calm nerves this big. I of all people should know that now. As I sat there, snapshots of the last little while that I have had the pleasure to spend with Brandon flittered in front of my eyes. When he walked in on me filtering through his room. When I stole his papers filled with God knows what. When we kissed beautifully. When we fell in love. I took a big heavy heave of air into my lungs and slowly uttered the words. "I am Violet Harmon. Look it up." And I walked out the door into nothing.