The next morning Felix woke up, he doesn't remember how he got to his room but next to his bedside were all his things and a white note.
He got up slowly, head groggy from the night before, he reached for his phone which had the usual messages and texts from the usual people.
He tried hard to resist reading the white note but intrigue always got the best of him.
He slowly reached for it, opening it to read a few words and his heart sunk.
Dear Baby Doll,
Well I hope you woke up not too hung over but if you are please drink water and rest a little.
After last night, I thought about it a lot and what we spoke about and I'm sorry Felix but we can't continue to do this, we can't keep pretending that what we're doing is right. Regardless of what we feel. I will never never forget the first times I have created with you and the acceptance you've shown me. You truly are an angel. Please don't blame yourself for I am just as responsible for this.
Take care of yourself always
Felix's tears dropped on to the page, his heart sinking into his stomach like quick sand as he read the note over and over again. Trying to look between the lines and find a reason on why he suddenly felt this way, he got up quickly and got dressed running downstairs "chan !" He yelled, "chan isn't here sweetie, he went with his friends to a meet"
Felix look disheveled as he plopped on the couch, "are you okay honey ?" His mother asked, moving slowly to the boy who was on the verge of crying out loud. "M- mom can you please somewhere real quick ?" His mother agreed, grabbing his keys and heading to the car. "Where are we going Lix ?" She asked curiously. The boy gave her specific directions
that lead them to the abandoned rive and to the warehouse that housed all the cars "mom here is okay ! I'll come back in five minutes" he said, his mother hesitantly agreeing.
Felix ran to the garage, knocking on the door with all his might, it opened slowly "can I help you ?" a girl said, "hi I'm so sorry to bother you but do you know where Hyun is by any chance ?"
she shook her head "no hon, last I heard he was going to the meet" she replied, Felix huffed turning around and pulling his hair, "do - do you know where it's at ?" He asked, she wrote down the address for him "it's about an hour away"
Hyunjin was in his car sitting as he watched the others race, he pulled out of the race last minute because he couldn't focus, not when the blonde constantly ran through his mind.
This morning when dropping him off, he came to a realization that hit him like no other..
Felix wasn't his.
Even if he wanted nothing more then to belong to the blonde, he couldn't. Not because he wasn't capable of it but because the one he loved belonged to another and who was he to ruin that.
How selfish of him to use Felix for some form of get back from all the times he couldn't have him, for all the times he dreamt of him and wished to be his.
His boyfriend was a dick, an asshole no doubt about it but if Felix "couldn't stand" the man what was stopping him from leaving him ?
Maybe he wanted the best of both worlds, the ego boost of having two men love you at the same time or maybe he couldn't hurt either one of them.
Hyunjin couldn't hurt himself any longer, it was getting too deep and at first it was for fun and the impulse and secrecy added to that adrenaline but now the feelings overcame and his heart was hurting when he couldn't hold the blondes hand in public, or shout from the school roof top that Lee Felix was his boyfriend and his only.
"Chan, can you please give him my number and tell him to call me .. please" he begged, leaving his brother a voicemail. The blonde was home now and even if he wanted to drive that hour, he couldn't do that to his mom, his phone rang off the hook.
"Hello" he said.
"Hey babe, I'm back home, want to come over ?"
Felix shook his head, "can I maybe see you tomorrow.. I'm not feeling too well"
"So you can go to a part-" he hung up the phone before he could finish, sitting on his bed and crying to himself, this was all his fault.
He deserves this, this was the universes karma for playing with the heart of someone else's.
Chan was right
