Heathen

Io

Io's POV

I drink the water of Oblivion and I feel myself fade away.

Who am I anymore?

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The sun is shining in my eyes. I see red behind my shut eyelids. Endymion lies beside me. We are at the fields, hidden behind the hay stacks. It is summer.

My nurse will surely be looking for me by now. But I do not care. I take every opportunity I have and leave home to meet him. His touch makes my skin feel warm. His kisses intoxicate me. I do not ever want to let go of this feeling, the feeling of him with me...

The news he gives me shock me. He has to join the battle. He has to leave.

Why? Why him? Why should we sacrifice ourselves to the whims of the Kings and the Gods?

-I promise, I will be back. Wait for me!

Those were his last words to me. I watched him walk away. I watched and registered in my memory his tall lean figure, his black hair, the blue eyes like the night sky that begged me not to forget him, his sharp-featured face, his lips -the bottom a little fuller than the top- both so soft on my skin...

(Flashback)

-Ah... I sigh under him.

We move in sync together. Our bodies are one.

-I love you. he whispers in my ear.

I love you a thousand times more! I think and wrap my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist, pushιng him even closer to my body.

When will you come back? I already miss you.

The days pass agonizingly slowly without him. News arrive at last. But, there is no clear outcome. The battle continues. He is alive though, yes? I would have felt it if he was not. I shudder at the thought.

My sleep is troubled. I toss and turn. I wake up drenched in sweat.

I dreamed of you my love. You were lying in a field, red like blood. A crescent moon was above you. Your eyes were closed. Were you sleeping?

And then, my world came crashing down.

A messenger came to your family's house. I saw him from afar. I ran, ignoring my nurse's pleas to wait. He speaks to your parents. I cannot hear what he is saying but your mother hides her face in her hands.

A heart-wrenching scream fills the air. It is me. I scream. I run and I run. Where to? Where are you? Let me find you! Let me come to you! Why did you leave me? You promised!

-You promised! I shout out loud, with tears in my eyes.

I cry until nightfall, alone, in our field. I drag myself home. Later in the evening I decide to take offerings to your family's shrine, honey and wine.

-May the Gods of the Underworld protect you my love. May you find peace.

I cannot hold back my tears. I kneel down, I pull the red ribbon from my hair and tie it around the tombstone.

I feel like someone is watching me. 

Is it you my love? Have you not yet moved on to the Afterlife? No, it is not possible.

I feel arms gently embrassing me. It is Endymion's grandmother. She tries to console me. She means well. But, I am dying inside. They say time heals everything. I do not want to heal.

She urges me to get up and go home. She is right. You are not there. You are in my heart. I carry you with me...

It has been almost a year. I listen to my Mother praising the young man she has chosen to be my spouse. Since I did not show any interest in finding someone new on my own, she did it for me.

My nurse looks at me worriedly. She does not like my blank expression. She frowns at my lack of interest. But it does not matter who or how that man is. He is not you, my love.

Maybe this is why our union is short-lived. Maybe this is why I die at childbirth along with my baby. I was defiant and contemptuous to the gifts of the Gods. But I have no regrets. Nor do I feel sorry for him, the poor man who is mourning on my deathbed. I will move on, now, to Hades.

Are you there my love? Are you waiting for me?

No.. Souls drink the water of Oblivion, to keep the sorrows of their past lives away. You won't remember. But, I will not take it. I will remember. I will search and find you. We will be together again, my love. I know it!

Alas!

Hermes is guiding my soul to Hades. He offers me a golden cup as we stand on the banks of the river of Oblivion.

-Drink... His voice is gentle with a hint of sadness.

But I do not want to forget!

How will I find you, my love?

I look at the vast fields of daffodils, that stretch out before me. All the souls of the short-lived mortals sway in the mist, like whispers, translucent and fragile. I am drowning in despair.

How will I find you, my love? 

My resolve wavers. I am weak.

-Drink. You do not need to suffer anymore. Hermes looks at me with pity.

Maybe it is better to forget...

I take the golden cup Hermes is offering in my hands. I drink and I feel myself fade away.

Who am I?