Matt Sturniolo imagines

Guilty: part 1 (⚠️TW content of ED and SH⚠️)

Requested by @ImHappierthaneverrr

        "Hey beautiful," Matt said coming up behind me while I add final touches to my makeup. I turn around to face him, he puts his hands on my hips.
"Are you excited for date night?" He asks.
"Yes I am, you still haven't told me where we're going though." I said, whining.
"And I won't tell until we get there." He said teasing.
"You look stunning by the way, as usual."
"Thank you," I said, a roseate hue flooding my cheeks.
"Well, let me know when you're ready," he said giving me one last kiss.
"I'm ready now," I said slipping on my shoes.
"Let's go then," he said giggling.

       As we're pulling into the parking lot, it clicks in my head that we're at a fancy restaurant. My heart drops, I haven't actually had a meal in a couple of days, and I didn't plan on having one today either.
      No, you know what, Matt planned a special night for us and I'm not going to ruin it by making it about myself. I'll eat a meal, it's just one meal.

"You ready to order hon?"
"Hm?" I said, zoning back into reality. I had been fixating on what I could eat. Just the word makes me want to heave.
Eat
Eat
Eat.
"I said do you think you're ready to order?" He relayed with a giggle.
"Oh, yes, sorry, I'll get the eggplant parmesan."
"Alright, and is there anything else I could get for y'all while i'm here?" The waitress offered.
"No, thank you" Matt said with his polite smile.
"You alright hon? You seem a little spacier than usual today." He asks, putting his hand on mine on the table.
"Yea I'm okay, sorry, just feeling scatterbrained." I said, trying not to worry him.
~time skip~
We got our food and I'm not gonna lie, I splurged. I ate a lot more than usual. Half of my eggplant parm, and a breadstick. But it's okay, not making it about me. I have nothing to worry about. He's just trying to take me to a nice dinner date.
"Thank you so much for tonight baby." I said leaning to give him a kiss. We're now at home, Matt is on his phone in his pjs sitting on his bed.
"Aw of course, I'm glad you had a good time." He said, kissing me back.
"I think I'm gonna take a shower, Italian food makes me feel greasy."
"Okay stinky, go shower." He said laughing.
I turn the faucet on and get undressed. (Don't make it weird you guys 🤚🏼🙄)
I'm about to go into the shower, but I have to do a double take. I grab a chunk of my stomach.
damn it.
I'm so bloated.
My thighs are like 20x the size they were before tonight. Why can't I just enjoy one night?
No, it was my fault. I chose to eat today. I shouldn't have.
A tsunami of guilt floods my body and I feel an overwhelming urge. I need to put this energy somewhere. I need a focus. I shuffled through the bag that I keep in Matt's bathroom for when I stay over, and took apart my razor. I stare at the blade, thinking of the ways doing it in the same vicinity as Matt could go wrong.
Before I even had time to dwell on it for too long, the blade was in my skin.
And before I knew it, my actions were lingering from my wrists, to my gut, down to my thighs.
18 cuts were made in total before I felt it was enough.
With that, I jumped into the shower, deciding to switch the water to cold (the warm water stung too much.) I winced at the pain of soap caressing open wounds.
Getting out of the shower, I changed into one of Matt's black hoodies, and a pair of blue checker pants.
"I'm back," I said with a sigh, wringing out my damp hair.
I flopped onto the bed and held onto his waist so hard. I just need him right now.
"Woah," he said with a laugh.
"Miss me?" He said with a laugh. I muttered a 'mhm' into his chest before sighing deeply, burying my face further into his chest and falling asleep.

A/N: I know there wasn't a lot of angst in this one, but this is only part one of this short story. Don't miss the updates!:)