Falling for math

7. My insanely gorgeous math teacher (part 2)

The following week, I was exhausted, and the warm feelings Miss Rose had awoken in me had been overcome by anxious ones. The discussion with the principal was hitting me harder than I expected it to. That pressure combined with the apprehension of going to New York was hard on me. My mind was restless, imagining every possible worst-case scenario. My thoughts were keeping me awake at night more than usual.

That's how I found myself sleepy in math class. When Miss Rose's voice was barely able to keep me awake, I knew the situation was bad. And if that wasn't enough of a clue, Miss Rose came to my desk to give me my usual set of exercises and I barely reacted. The subject was something I would usually be overexcited about, but today I wasn't. And Miss Rose noticed, of course she noticed. When I didn't show my usual excitement over the math, Miss Rose looked like a confused and kicked puppy. She whispered a worried "Come see me at the end of the lesson" and after throwing me one last concerned look, she went back to her desk.

Of course, Miss Rose would notice and of course she would care. I don't know why I kept being surprised by this. She always cared. For the remainder of the lesson, I made sure to avoid her eyes and focused instead on those gorgeous high heeled combat boots she was wearing.

And at the end of the lesson, I made my way to her. She got up, sat on her desk, and gestured for me to take her chair. As we took our usual seats, I felt a bit more at ease, familiarity had always been comforting to me. That combined with the way Miss Rose was patiently waiting for me to explain with a gentle expression on her face caused my body to relax. And I realized at this moment how tensed I had been.

"The last few days have been difficult for me. If being terrified of going back to New York wasn't enough, now I'm nervous about what will happen if I don't win the competition." I said with a frustrated voice. I hated being helpless and I hated being at the mercy of my emotions.

"It will be okay, sweetheart." Miss Rose said with that reassuring voice of hers. Then, she moved her leg in a way that it was now pressing against mine and I used all my will power to make sure I wouldn't blush. Miss Rose looked at me with an amused smile like she knew what I was thinking. And this time, I blushed which caused her smile to widen. Well, I had embarrassed myself but at least she was smiling. And if there was one thing I loved, it was making her smile. That and the feeling of her leg pressed against part of mine. It was warm and reassuring, a reminder of her presence; well, it's not like anyone could forget her anyway. I had always hated physical contact but with her, it was different. She wasn't being overbearing with her touch, it was always gentle; always delicate. It made my skin tingle with warmth, but it wasn't suffocating. It was a nice change.

Once we stopped smiling at each other, Miss Rose looked at me with such a gentle and understanding expression that it made me want to cry.

"And if it isn't okay, I'll be there. We'll deal with it together, all right? I promise I won't let you go through painful moments alone." Miss Rose said as she leaned over slowly, seemingly to rest her hand on my shoulder.

She moved slowly, like she was trying to give me time to move away if I wanted to. It made me realize how much she knew me and how considerate she was. Instead of feeling hurt at my reluctance for physical contact like so many people had in the past, it seemed like she was accepting it. And when her hand reached my shoulder, I didn't flinch.

Miss Rose rested her hand on my shoulder, and I didn't flinch. I just accepted the contact and let myself relax. My math teacher was so close that I could smell her wonderful perfume again. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a few seconds. Her gorgeous green eyes seemed to be saying so much and it was so overwhelmingly warm that I felt the need to close my eyes. So that's what I did to let myself enjoy the positive feelings she brought out of me.