DEAD SOULS | twd x spn

08 | who were you?

LOTTIE COULDN'T SLEEP. She'd been lying on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling for hours, thoughts of home plaguing her mind. Eventually, she'd taken to pacing around the room until her feet hurt. She was getting out of here, she was. It was just going to take longer than she'd have liked. She would've jumped out of the window right now if not for Sam and Dean being here. That was the only reason she hadn't attempted to kill Negan where he stood, because she knew that they would all be gunned down if she did.

She jumped when she heard a quiet knock on her door, before Negan slipped inside, a serious expression on his face. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of grey pants that had been barely done up. He looked tired...he looked human.

"Do you mind not pacing around like that in the middle of the night?" He complained. "It's a surprise you haven't burned a damn hole in the floor."

"You could always let me go?" Lottie tried.

"Nice try, now go to fucking sleep. You're putting people on edge."

"It's hard to sleep when I'm in a world full of walking dead people."

Negan sighed, before stepping further into the room. "You don't need to worry about the walkers. You're safe here."

"Am I?" She countered. "I'm being held here by a fucking psychopath who just so happens to be identical to my dead dad, I have no idea where my brothers are and I don't know if or how I'll ever get home. I'm hardly gonna be settling in nicely in this place."

"Do I really look exactly like your fucking dad?"

"Yes."

"Damn," Negan said, shaking his head. "That shit must be hard, huh."

"Who were you?" Lottie asked then. "Before all this?"

Negan seemed to hesitate before answering, his lips pulling into a frown. "I was a husband─a fucking shitty one, too."

"What happened to your wife? Did the walkers kill her?"

"I'm not talking about this with you," he said then, straightening his shoulders before turning back to the door.

"Did you kill her?"

"I loved her," he spat, turning back to face Lottie. She noticed his bottom lip was trembling slightly.

They stood in silence for a moment before Lottie could finally think of something to say. "I know what it's like to lose someone you love. I'm sorry."

"No."

"What?"

"You don't know what it's like," he said, looking her right in the eye. "You lost your father, and he sounds like he was a pretty shitty one too. Just because you got some kinda blind loyalty to the asshole, don't mean you know what it's like to lose someone you love. There's a difference between love and just blind loyalty."

"I didn't just lose my father."

"What?"

"I lost Sam...and I lost Dean, more times than I can count."

"I'm sorry," Negan said then, a breath of laughter leaving his lips. "Is there another Sam and Dean that I don't know about? Because last I checked, those assholes were still standing."

"Yeah," Lottie sighed. "It's...complicated."

"Well, I'm all ears."

"Look, as much as I'd love to tell you about all the crap that's gone down in my life, I can't. Because it will screw with your mind, or you'll throw me in a cell cuz you'll think I'm fucking insane."

"Tell me," he persisted. "Now."

"Alright," she answered, folding her arms across her chest. It's your funeral. "A few years ago, Sam was─he was─" She paused a moment, the memory feeling like a knife to the chest. "He died in Dean's arms."

"Then how the hell is he alive now?"

"Dean made a deal to bring him back, I didn't even know what he'd done until he showed up with Sam the next day. By then, it was too late."

"Too late for what? And what'd you mean he made a deal? What kind of deal?"

Lottie took a breath, a sickening feeling settling in her stomach. "He made a deal with a crossroads demon. And long story short, he sold his soul to bring Sam back."

"Sold his soul. You're joking. His fucking soul?" He said, smirking. "Alright, what happened next?"

"He died," Lottie answered, emotion creeping up her throat. "A year later...he was dragged to Hell."

"And...how is Dean alive? Did Sam also start dealing with demons?"

"An angel brought him back." Lottie probably should've shut up way before the mention of angels, and as much as it hurt her to recall her family's painful history, she found that she was actually enjoying the bewildered look on Negan's face.

"What?"

"His name is Castiel, but we call him Cas." Alright, she was all the way in now.

"You're right," Negan finally said. "I do think you're insane."

───

AUTHOR'S NOTE

okay, so i know i kind of just dropped off the face of the earth for a while, but i'm back now with a new chapter! sorry i haven't updated in so long.

hope you enjoyed this chapter and i'll try to update at least once a month from now on :)