Chapter thirtytwo: "what the hell are you doing here?"

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2 months later

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2 months later

"You're what!?" Lola gasped, shooting her hand
to shield her mouth.

"I'm fucking pregnant" I sob

So many emotions ran through my head, I didn't know what to do but I knew I had to tell my best friend first.

"How do you feel about it, have you spoke to Saul?" She asked, a sincere look on her face.

"No I haven't spoken to him and I don't know what to feel, I'm happy, sad, angry, confused and fucking terrified lola!" I stress, pasting around the room like a crazy women.

"This is good news right?" She smiled, getting up from the bed and grasping her hands in mine "you're going to have baby!"

"Lola this is far from good news" I breath out "I'm a mess, my boyfriend who I'm not sure even is my boyfriend anymore is a herion addict, he's in a fucking rock band and I don't even know if I can have this kid for crist sake this is not good news this is fucked up!"

"So what are you going to do?" She asks.

"Well I can't keep it!"

She looks at me sympathetically for a moment, wrapping her arms around my neck as we fall into a long hug.

"I got you always, you know that. Whatever you want to do I'll support you okay?" She smiles,  swiping a tear away from my red cheek.

"How far along are you?" She asked with a raised brow.

"I don't know, pretty far I think." I sucked in a long tight breath.

"Shit." Was all Lola said.

"I know, shit. I mean, what do I do?" I panic "what do I tell Saul, when do I tell Saul?"

"Look, don't worry about him right now. If you want the truth, he's in rehab. He's been in rehab for 3 weeks now, Duff goes to visit him. He's doing really well em" she smiles softly, placing her hand in mine.

"That's good I guess" I sniffle "I should tell him soon huh?"

"Probably honey"

One week later

"Duffs on the phone, again." Lola bit her lip, holding the phone out for me. "He's at the rehabilitation centre with Saul,  he wants to talk to you" she whispered, holding her palm against the speaker.

"Tell him I'm not here" I whispered,

"Em" Lola said irritatedly.

"Tell him."

"Erm she's not here right now babe"

——

"Hey I'm starving you wanna go grab some food" Lola asks, sipping on her wine. I'm so jealous, I stopped drinking the minute that test showed two lines.

"Yeah sure, I'm gonna go take a shower, freshen up before we head out okay?" I reply.

Heading to the bathroom, I shut the door softly before turning the shower on.

I relax as the hot water drips down my back, I look down to see my hands cradling the small bumb in my belly. A habit I have frequently found my self doing. It's strange, I feel so lonely but I also don't know how to feel. I brush the thoughts away, tilting my head back allowing my hair to dampen under the trickling water from the shower head.

I hear the door creak open.

"Sorry, sorry I need to pee" Lola apologises, I let out a giggle and tell her it's fine.

"Hey while you're in here can you pass me the new bottle of shampoo, this one is empty" I ask, as I stick my dripping wet hand out from Behind the shower curtain.

"Sure here , so where do you wanna go eat?" She asked.

I took the shampoo bottle, squeezed the soap on my hand before lathering it into my hair.

"Wherever, I think there's a new diner just off the strip that's opened we could go there?" I shout over the loud music playing from the radio Lola had decided to switch on.

I hear the doorbell ring and Lola shuffling out of the bathroom.

"Who's that?" I ask

"Probably just duff, he's always forgetting his keys" she replied, before shutting the door softly and once again I was left with my own thoughts.

I finally finished up in the shower dried my body off with the towel and stepped out.

I thought the shock of the pregnancy was bad.

But it was nothing to who was sat on my bed min I walked in.

"Nikki?"

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