Orchids and Sunflowers | Jegulus

•2

Regulus stared at the cover. He didn't know what to do, what to feel. He knew he had to get the surgery. He was heir to the Black House, and basically, the only reason Walburga hasn't taken a one-way trip to the Potters and demanded Sirius back. Regulus could feel the panic set in. He quickly threw the book in his bag and made his way out of the library. He couldn't tell anyone, but he sure needed his friends right now. At this point, Evan and Barty would definitely be in the Great Hall with Dorcas. He quickly entered the Hall, ignoring anyone who walked past him and made a beeline for the Slytherin table. He dropped himself down next to Pandora and Dorcas was talking to her about some random class they both shared. Barty was sleeping on Evans's shoulder, who looked half asleep himself.

The sudden sound jolted Barty awake, sending a glare towards Regulus. "So you finally join us? Where were you this morning, thought you finally decided to run away". Regulus ignored him, looking at the food in front of him, picking a few things up and putting them on his plate.

"Library" Was all he responded with. Barty stared at him for a few moments before he shrugged it off and placed his head back on Evans's shoulder.

Regulus let out a small sigh of relief. He could feel the book in his bag burn against his leg. He knew his friends deserved to know, know that if he just sat around he could end up dead in only a few months, but how do you start a conversation like that? Oh yeah, I'm dying because my heart thought it would be a good idea to fall in love with my brother's best friend! All he had to do was just wait a few weeks and he could arrange the stupid surgery and get rid of this damn thing. All he planned to do was ignore James Potter and make sure this thing didn't get any worse. But nothing ever worked his way. The quiet peace was quickly disturbed by the group of Gryffindors entering the Hall. The first to walk in was Sirius followed by Remus, talking heatedly about something Regulus didn't really care about. Following was James Potter laughing at something Peter said.

Regulus wanted to look away, trust him he did. But how can you look away when the literal sun walks into the room? James didn't have to do anything to get Regulus' attention because apparently existing was enough. He knew it was obvious he was staring, and he knew it was a bad idea. He watched them sit down, watched James lit up in joy over a joke that was shared, watched him try and fail to get the attention of a certain ginger Gryffindor and how he wished it was him. How he wanted to be able to sit with them and be the centre of that attention, be the one to make him laugh but Regulus gave up that chance when he sent Sirius away.

He looked away, trying to ignore the tickle he felt at the back of his throat. This can't happen now. Barty and Evan may be half asleep and not notice anything but Pandora and Dorcas will. She would immediately start asking questions leading to the other two joining in. However, the urge to cough got worse and worse the more he heard James' voice and laugh.

"Oi Evans, join me during Hogsmeade weekend?" Regulus started coughing into his hands, harsh loud coughs that quickly got the attention of his three friends. Of course, the thing that tips him off is Potter asking Lily out. Regulus knew it was all a joke. Lily has been in a relationship with Pandora since last year, but that didn't stop him from feeling jealous. He finally manages to stop and puts his hands on his lap, trying to ignore the soft feeling of petals in his hand.

"Reggie? Are you okay" He felt a soft hand on his back. Pandora's touch always brought comfort to Regulus, but right now it only made him feel guilt. "That sounded pretty bad"

"Oh, um, yeah. Don't worry about me I'm fine Dora, just a little cough" Pandora looked at him apprehensively but nodded and went back to eating, continuing the conversation with Dorcas but watching Regulus out of the corner of her eye. Regulus could feel the warm petals in his hand, and the guilt continued to grow. All he could do was shove them away into his pocket and ignore it.

★☀

James Potter loved stargazing. It was his favourite thing to do with his parent's before he left for Hogwarts. His favourite time was during the spring, however, when the Leo constellation was in view. So, when James bumped into Sirius during his first year, he honestly thought it was fate that he met a boy named after a star. It continued to seem like fate when Sirius mentioned his baby brother Regulus, whose namesake was the heart of the Leo constellation. James decided then and there that he would make Regulus become his friend.

However, his plan was halted when Regulus walked into their train compartment at the beginning of James' second year and refused to talk to him, but seemed to be okay talking to the others. Which was fine for James. It just meant his plan to befriend the younger would take a little longer. But Regulus was sorted into Slytherin and from then the brother's relationship became strained, giving James no proper reason to actually talk to Regulus, especially after Sirius left him to come to the Potters in 6th year. It didn't pass James that after Sirius left, Regulus grew into himself, no longer looking like the skinny, neglected boy he was before, but James was just observant.

So when James climbed up the astronomy tower and was greeted with a head of black curls that was unmistakably Regulus Black, he decided it was fate. James just stood for a moment and stared at the boy. He was debating on leaving when Regulus finally picked up on the new presence in the tower, turned to face James and just stared. James couldn't see any emotion on his face and decided to start a conversation.

"Hey Reg, sorry didn't know anyone came up here" James tried to smile at him but Regulus gave him a glare in return and moved to get up.

"Yes, well not everything revolves around you Potter." Regulus glared at him. "Maybe if you looked somewhere other than Lily Evans you would notice other people exist around here" Regulus said as he tried to move past James. He looked at him shocked, this was the most he had ever said to him.

"Wait, you don't have to leave because I'm here Reg-" James grabbed Regulus by the arm, trying to stop him from leaving. Regulus pulled a pained face but it went as quick as it came. James let go, thinking Regulus was disgusted at his touch.

"Shut up with that stupid nickname! And what else are you going to do? I don't think Sirius would enjoy knowing you're trying to befriend his pathetic brother" Regulus wasn't shouting at him, but James winced like he was. James let out a sigh and looked up towards the night sky.

"He doesn't have to know everything I do you know, we are two separate people" James reminded him.

Regulus scoffed. "Shocking. Now is the conversation over? I have better things to do than talk to you" Without waiting for a response, Regulus pushes past James and leaves. All James could do was watch him go, but instead of it annoying him, it made him feel excited. This was the most Regulus had ever said to him, even if it ended up as an argument. With a small smile on his face, James walked up towards the edge of the tower and looked over the grounds. It was too cloudy to see any stars, but he still enjoyed the soft breeze that was hitting him and just observed everything that the moon lit up. He closed his eyes and breathed in. James was now more intrigued with Regulus then he was before, and he decided to try and befriend him again.

★☀

Regulus couldn't stay any closer to James. He felt like he was drowning, his chest refusing to let any air enter. Regulus was shocked he didn't cough up any flowers when James grabbed his arm, but more shocked that a single touch from him could bring him such a bittersweet feeling. When he finally reached the bottom of the stairs, Regulus finally let out the cough he was holding in. The petals had no trouble coming up his throat and tumbling into his hands. He gave them a dirty look, threw them into his pocket with the ones from earlier, and made his way back to his dorms.

He was thankful that Barty and Evan were asleep when he got back because it meant he didn't have to talk to anyone else. Regulus pulled open the top drawer of his dresser, threw the new petals in with the ones from this morning and threw himself on his bed. Tomorrow, he will talk to Madame Promfrey, and get a date to get rid of this so he can continue his life pretending he doesn't have an older brother and anyone who associates with him. Before long, Regulus finally fell into a dreamless sleep.