Feelings

True Lies

Sophie sprinted down the front steps as he dropped his bags and opened his arms. Leaping into them, she burst into happy tears.  He buried his face in her hair and hugged her tightly.  It had been a long and ultimately painful six-and-a-bit weeks. More than, as yet, he could possibly know.

He set her down with a soft kiss, and she sniffed loudly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "Sorry, just all a bit overwhelming." She grinned, happy for the first time in days. He was back.  

"Come on in, the kettle is on, and I even have... choccie biscuits." She smiled and batted her eyelashes at him suggestively.

Tom laughed like a drain. "Well, if this is going to be my welcome home, I think I should go away more often!" He meant it as a joke, but despite her joy at his return, the fear she'd managed to suppress kicked in.

"No! Dont. Please. Dont go.  Please, Tom?" She was begging him as she dragged him up the stairs and into the house. He looked at her, frowning. It wasn't like her to be so needy. 

"Are you ok?" He held her hand as they walked into the kitchen. Pausing, she looked up at him and smiled, realising what she'd sounded like.

She nodded, lowering her gaze. She couldn't look into his eyes and lie.  "Im ok, sorry. Just... I'm ok." She seemed to give herself a shake. "You sit there. I'll get you some tea."

She pulled away, and he sat watching her. There was something up, and to his frustration, he couldn't put his finger on it. Luke had said there was something up, and he'd not really believed it.  He needed to get to the bottom of it before he had to go back to work.

They spent the afternoon just reconnecting and looking at the hundreds of photos he'd taken while he was away.  As they cuddled on the sofa, for the first time since that awful night, Sophie began to relax.  So much so that she dozed off in his arms.

He looked down at her, and his heart was sore. There was something up. He just wished she trusted him enough to tell him.  Maybe soon.  He was tired from the journey too, and soon he drifted off, his arms wrapped around her, his head lolling forward to rest on hers, a warm fleecy blanket keeping them cosy.

It was almost dark when they woke. Sophie first, revelling in their closeness.  Slowly and gently, she unwound Tom's arms and stood, re-covering him carefully with the blanket.  He stirred a little, then snuffled and dozed again. She lit a couple of side lamps and drew the curtains. The noise of the brass curtain rings stirred him, and he yawned and stretched, opening his eyes.  He looked at her like he hadn't seen her for a hundred years.

He held out his hands, and she walked back over to him, sitting down beside him as he sat up. 

"Darling?" He took her hands and kissed them softly. "Is.. is there something you want to tell me?" He held her hands to his heart. "You know you can tell me anything?" He kissed her gently, "anything at all."

"Oh Tom, I'm sorry. I've just had a lot on my plate recently. I've taken some time off, though. I thought we could spend it together? Before you have to work again?" She looked up at him, a tentative smile on her lips.  His heart broke. He knew she was lying. He just didn't know why.

"Ok, sweetheart, if you say so." He kissed her passionately. Before he knew it, he blurted out, "Oh God, Sophie, I love you so much. Please trust me."

For a second, they sat just looking at each other.

"You... you LOVE me?" She whispered, her eyes wide and her heart racing. She knew he cared. He'd made no secret of his deep affection but LOVE?

"Yes." He smiled and took her chin in one hand, tipping her face up to him. Leaning down, he kissed her slowly, savouring every moment. Pulling back with a soft 'pop', he sighed contentedly. "I've wanted to tell you for so long, but I was afraid."

"You were? Afraid? Why?" She was astonished.

"Because I was scared you would run. That I had read it all wrong." His eyes were moist, his voice shaky.

"I'd never have run Tom. Never." She took his hand and held it to her cheek. "Why would I run from the man I love?"

Now, it was his turn to be amazed.

"You love me? Really and truly? Really?"

"Oh Tom, I think I've loved you since you soaked me with that water balloon in your mum's garden!" She smiled and blushed. He laughed loudly, then quietened and looked at her.

"Sophie, darling. Tell me the truth, sweetheart. What's bothering you?"

She knew she couldn't lie again. She couldn't hide it any longer.

Standing up, she paced the floor, twisting them hem of her shirt in her hands. Tears began to fall.

"I..I lied to you. I'm so sorry. It just kind of happened. I didn't mean to, I really didn't." She rambled almost incoherently, and Tom stood, coming to hold her gently by the shoulders.

"Take a breath." He kissed her, and as he did so, she calmed. Releasing her, she swallowed.

"The thing is, I," she closed her eyes, "I resigned.  From the job. On Monday."
She felt sick and faint, sitting weakly on the arm of the sofa, looking at him.

Tom's jaw dropped. In all the revelations he thought she might come out with, that wasn't it.

"Why? Why would you do that?" He was completely confused.