Feelings

Back again...

She rolled over and thumped the alarm. What the hell had she done to deserve this... this purgatory? Getting up at 4.30 am? It was dark, cold, and wet. Someone quite obviously forgot to switch on the day. She would have to have words with the man in charge.

Lying on her back, snuggled into the quilt, she smiled. Despite the horrendous hour, it was all in a good cause. In an hour, she would be on her way. In two, he would land. In three, they would be in each other's arms. 

Tom was coming home. He'd been in the Far East filming, and she'd missed him terribly.  They'd called and face timed, but it just wasn't the same. He'd even offered to pay for a long weekend in Singapore for the two of them, but she'd said no.  Not because she didn't want to, but because she did. Too much. Saying goodbye had been hard enough the first time, doing it again? Unbearable.

And she had the new venture with Luke. It had been a great success and they had been busy and very, very happy.  Now, their best - yes, they were incredibly biased - and favourite client was back.  Luke had told her to take a few days off. Spend it with Tom.

She was glad to have him home and not just because she missed his warm embrace and his passionate kisses. This was trial week.  They hadn't told Tom. It had all kicked off while he was away. They took the decision so he wouldn't be distracted from the film. 

Now, at the best possible time, he would be home. She threw back the quilt and got up.  Showering quickly, she dressed and left in Tom's car. He'd lent it to her while he was away. There was no point it sitting doing nothing while he was gone.

Exactly on time, the plane landed at Heathrow Airport. She watched as it rolled onto the stand, and the weary travellers disembarked. Standing in the Arrivals hall, she watched as families and travellers and businessmen filed past and away. At first, a deluge, then a trickle, finally there was only one or two stragglers. But no Tom.  She began to worry. Had he missed his flight? No, she would have heard. Wouldn't she?

She was just about to text Luke, to hell with it being 7am, when the doors from the customs hall slid open and there was the flash of a few hardy paparazzi cameras.  He was here, clad in jeans, a red plaid shirt, and ubiquitous black Rayban sunglasses.  He also wore a smile, a huge beaming smile.

She shimmied under the barrier and ran into his open arms. "Darling!" He spun her around and kissed her. "Are you a sight for sore eyes!"

"I thought you weren't coming.  When everyone came off and..." he cut her off with a passionate kiss.

"Shhh kitten. I waited so we could have space. To meet and hug..." he pressed his lips to hers again. "And kiss."

She smiled, and he slipped his arm around her shoulders. "Come on, love, let's go home."

"Yours or mine?" She looked up at him as they walked.

"Ours." He answered, and she stopped.

"Ours?" Her voice wavered, not with fear, with restrained joy.

He didn't say anything else, just held her hand as they walked to the car.  Loading his suitcases into it, he took the keys from her with a wink. "I love you, darling, but I HAVE missed my car!"

She laughed and slid into the passenger seat. He started the engine, and it purred into life. The noise, truth be told, always sent a little thrill shooting through her. Was it possible to be turned on by the sound something as mundane as a car made? When the car was a sleek black Jaguar? Emphatically, yes!

They didn't move. She looked at him, puzzled. He was smiling. "Darling, you know I love you, don't you?"

"Yes?"

"Well, while I was away, I realised something. I don't love you."

Her breath caught and she blurted out "what? Tom...." her hand flew to her mouth in shock. He raised a hand and gently prised hers free. "I don't LOVE you darling, what I feel? There hasnt been a word invented to cover it.  So I intend to show you. Day by day, little by little, if you'll let me? And that starts by begging you to come live with me?"

She felt the air leave the car, along with all her doubts and fears. She grinned and leaned over, kissing him softly.

"No begging required sweetheart.  Emphatically yes!"

His face lit up and he kissed her deeply. They parted and drove away, the engine roaring into life. Despite everything, they couldn't help themselves. A powerful engine? A half empty multistory carpark that echoed to heaven? What's not to make you grin?

As they drove through the streets, London waking all around them, she began to realise that she would have to tell him about the trial. She wanted nothing to spoil their moment, so she decided to wait till they got home.

Mistake number one.

Tom turned on the radio and was just in time for the news.  The headline? The trial of Arthur Gardiner for what eventually turned out to be three counts of rape and twelve sexual assaults.

Mistake number two.

By the time they got home, they weren't so much arguing as battling to stay silent the longest.

Tom got out and came round to open her door for her.  She couldn't look at him. Just sidled past as he glowered down at her. She stood, awkwardly fiddling with her hair as he retrieved his luggage and then they walked to the front door.

Still silent, he unlocked it and held it open for her. She walked in, turned and stopped. This was unbearable.

"Tom..."

"Sophie..."

They spoke in unison, making themselves laugh despite the fact they were supposed to be annoyed. It broke the ice and the stalemate.

"Tom, I did it for the best of reasons. I promise love. I didn't want you worrying about me the whole time you were away." She took one of his hands in both of hers and held it to her cheek. "I need you, Tom, I always will. You're back now, and I need you.
"Please darling. Forgive me?"

He smiled and sighed softly. "I can never be angry with you. I just love you too much! Even if you are a monster now and again!"

He scooped her into his arms. "It will be ok love, he'll not get away with it. I promise you, he will pay." He kissed her. "We can talk about that later, just now? I'm feeling all sorts of weird jet-lag symptoms, so I think we need to go to bed. Right away." He grinned and winked.

"Oh you do, do you?" She murmured as she started to kiss his neck softly. "Well, who am I to argue with a God!"

He smiled wickedly and carried her up stairs...