cabin fever - jean k x reader

Fragile.

cw: strong language

Jeans POV, back at the bar:

"Fine." Y/N spits. I turn around and burst back inside the crowded bar. My mind is reeling and I'm seeing red. I know I should've said something else but I will only make it worse. My temper has been the biggest hurdle in my life. I know I can't control my anger but I don't care right now. Seeing that loser with his hands on Y/N made my blood boil. I could tell just by looking at him what his real intentions were and she doesn't deserve that. She also doesn't deserve an idiot who can't not punch people in the face but here we are.

I trudge through the people on the dance floor  to the bar and quickly down 3 shots. I'm such a fucking idiot. I should go make sure she's okay but I know she doesn't want to see me right now, or ever probably. I order a beer and stay seated at the bar. I want to get out of here but I don't think anyone is going to be leaving anytime soon.

"There you are." I hear Marco say from beside me. "Ive been looking for you."

"Here I am." I reply.

I already know that Marco knows that something is bothering me. I'm just bracing for the impact of the question.

"Where's Y/N?" Fuck.

"No idea." I spit back. The alcohol is starting to hit me and I can feel my face heat up and the room starts to spin. "Not a fucking clue."

"What happened?" Marco asks.

"Dude I'm not in the mood for the 3rd degree. I fucked it all up. Just forget about it."

"Loud and clear jackass." I didn't look but I heard Marco leave his seat and walk away. He didn't deserve that, I know he's just trying to be helpful but I can't help it. I am a jackass.

The night continues on and I just stay at the bar drinking. I'll regret it in the morning but I don't really give a fuck right now. The lights turn on and I throw some cash on the bar and head out towards Armins van. I feel an arm wrap around mine and look to see Sasha trying to stay upright.

"Oh my god  Jean! Thank you SO much!" She slurs at me.

"What?"

"For holding me up, duuuuuuuh. Nic is going pee so I need some help actually." Sasha's cheeks are red and her eyes are glossy. She is clearly hammered. I huff out a breath and adjust my arm so I have a better grip on her. She's barely walking at this point.

We finally make it to the van and I get Sasha buckled in right when Niccolo returns from the bathroom. "Thanks man." He says and pats me in the back. 

"Wait!" Sasha yells. "Where is Y/N?" She unbuckles her seatbelt and tries to get out of the car. "We have to get her guys we can't forget her oh my god."

"Oh she left already! I guess she got a cab home with Bert, said she wasn't feeling well." Armin chimes in.

She left with Bertholdt? I can feel the anger pooling in my stomach. I know her and Bertholdt probably just left together out of convenience but it should've been me sharing the cab with her, if I wasn't such an idiot.

"Get in the van horse face, we're waiting on you." Eren says. It takes everything in me not to punch him in the face.  I load myself into the back seat. It's not hard to notice the empty middle seat this time around. I close my eyes and lean my head back, trying to stop the nauseous feeling in my stomach.

We're about 10 minutes from the camp when we have to pull over so Sasha can puke. She rushes out of the van with Niccolo not far behind her. I pull my phone out and open the messages app.